Winter Hearts

In Which Siana Flies Away

Siana walked down the gangway leading to the plane. She had her carry-all, which had everything she needed for the trip. But in the hold was her humungous suitcase stuffed with crafting wool, textiles, and the two evening gowns her mum had forced her to take with her.

"Sweats and tights. Ugh! That's for Teacher Siana and Working Siana. These, " Jenny said, holding up the two dresses, "...are for my Lady-Like, Looking for a Boyfriend Siana."

Siana frowned.

"Ma, I will never ever wear those."

"You don't like them?"

"It's not that I don't like them, which I don't, by the way. It's just that I can't do laundry and mop floors with them in the middle of winter. And they look scratchy."

Jenny smiled and folded them expertly into the suitcase.

"Because you love me, and because all these things in here are mine anyway, you are taking these."

"I will give them to the first cousin I see."

Jenny huffed and pointed at them.

"They're wash and wear, look! they don't even crinkle! Just do me a favour, and hang them up. If you don't use them by the time you leave, give them away. Better yet, sell them with all the other stuff."

"Great, a store full of crafting haberdashery and two evening gowns."

"Thank you and I love you and you promised."

"No I didn't."

"I saw it in your beautiful expressive eyes." Jenny chucked her on the chin.

Siana smiled as she approached the cabin crew at the cabin entrance. Suddenly she saw Minjani in her uniform step into view. They both smiled widely, excitedly waving at each other as she approached. The handsome steward in front of Minjani looked at Siana in puzzlement before realising she was waving at Minjani who was behind him.

"Hi babe! Back to Athens?"

"Min! I should have asked you if you were flying! Sorry, I was so busy getting ready for this trip!"

They hugged in front of the steward, who looked on with a big smile on his face. His gaze lingered on Siana's happy face as she squeezed her eyes shut with glee.

"Yeah and I will be flying again in about two weeks, so maybe I can come visit! Oh, this is Mark, he's just joined this sector."

"Hi Mark. Siana."

"Siana. Nice-iana. I mean, nice name"

Siana smiled at him as he continued staring at her. Min cringed and rolled her eyes. Siana nodded her head and looked at Minjani with her plastered-on smile. The passenger behind her coughed dramatically. Mark suddenly broke out of his stupor and turned to tend to the next passenger. Minjani laughed and showed Siana the way to her seat. As Siana walked by, Mark caught Minjani's attention. She rolled her eyes and mouthed "nice-iana?"

Siana looked for her seat. She loved flying, because it always meant the beginning of something new, even if she was just returning home. On a flight, all she had were her thoughts and feelings and she loved immersing herself in her fantasies and memories and living a life she didn't really have. It made her feel happy, although more often than not, left her feeling a little antsy and restless. She laughingly thought of it as an addiction, then remembered her mum's words that morning.

She put her bag in the overhead bin, smiling down at the child sitting next to her seat and the mother by the window. The mum looked at her anxiously. Siana offered for her to sit in the aisle so that she could get up easy for the child if she needed to. Gratefully, the mum smiled and stood up. Inwardly, Siana shook her head at herself. She couldn't help thinking about being trapped by the window with a noisy kid between her and her exit. Oh well, she would deal with that if it happened later. She sat down and sent a last message to both her parents that she had boarded. She turned the phone to airplane mode and checked she had her documents and battery pack with her. Earphones on, she put some music on shuffle and leaned back. Clazziquai's "Hold Your Tears" came on.

Immediately, her thoughts turned to Leo, and she remembered the clips and pictures of Vixx's latest comeback that had flooded her feed. Self-conscious, awkward, but now cheery Leo. She suspected he was less self-conscious than he seemed. Sometimes he just stared too confidently into the phones that recorded him. Sometimes, she felt he knew exactly what effect he had on his fans.

Starlights were supposed to be well-behaved fans. She wondered if any of them ever regretted not stealing a hug or kiss when they were face to face with their idols. She smiled wryly. She wondered if she would keep her composure or lose it if she ever met Leo face to face.

Then she laughed a little. As if that would happen. It made her feel sad and a touch emotional that she was acting lovesick over what was really a set of pictures. There was no Leo in her life, there wasn't even any love interest in her life. 

She shook herself. She prided herself on being level-headed, hardworking and productive. She felt she wanted her future partner to admire those traits rather than her looks or body. 

A little sadly, she waited for the plane to taxi down the runway.