Winter Hearts

Choices

Leo found N, Hongbin and Kkomae in the hotel lobby where they were sitting in silence, staring at nothing. N looked up at him as he dropped his bag by the spare armchair and sat in it.

"You okay?" N asked quietly. Leo nodded, feeling surprised at how sombre everyone was.

"Yeah, why?"

Leo saw a flash of irritation pass over N's features.

"What? They don't even know who it is in the video," he said, suddenly wishing he felt as offhand as he sounded about it.

"Starlights know we are here. They will know that is you, even if the news source won't confirm it."

N's voice betrayed his impatience with him. Leo looked around the table, realising that everyone was much more worried about this than he had presumed them to be. Hongbin looked back at him like he was shell-shocked.

"There's another article, Hyung," he began, "There is a claim that a kpop idol got violent and put someone in hospital."

Leo was taken aback, though probably more that he had presumed that Mark would keep quiet about it. He had a sobering thought that perhaps Mark had clocked on to Leo's predetermined reaction to his attack - and could arguably say that Leo had been calculative in his action rather than simply reacting in self-defence.

"No clear pictures, but enough to get people thinking that it could be more than coincidence," Kkomae, standing up to stretch. "Min Seok is getting the car, get ready to load up. I'm getting Ken," he said over his shoulder as he went to the lifts.

Leo watched him go, a rising dread filling his chest. When he had seen the article earlier on Hyuk's phone, he had not taken it seriously - or more truthfully, had put on an act of bravado for Siana's benefit, not wanting her to worry that this could affect her too much. When N had said that their fans would recognise him no matter what, he could not deny the truth of that - and suddenly realised that in being so cavalier, he had ignored Siana's possible fears about it.

He supposed that was why she had left so abruptly, with barely a goodbye.

Foolish Leo, he thought, shaking his head. He tried to console himself with the thought that she had already been on the way out, and might not have wanted to say an intimate goodbye in front of Hyuk anyway.

"Is it so bad if they know it is me?"

N and Hongbin looked at each other, some sort of silent communication passing between them momentarily before N responded.

"No of course not. It's just bad timing. It might have been better if you had already announced it yourself."

N sighed, his features softening, and his voice gentling.

"But.. why would you? I mean, you are under no obligation to divulge your personal life, Leo, not even to Starlight, I think."

Hongbin nodded, still looking a little worried. N continued.

"The second article might be a problem for us though-"

"I will accept all responsibility for that-" Leo started.

"We all bear responsibility even if you try to do it alone. Also there are pragmatic aspects to your being embroiled in something like this that affect us all, Taekwoon-ssi."

Leo nodded. Although he could see what potentially could come, and although he felt dread that this exposure had occurred, he didn't feel the fear of it - at least, not the fear that he had felt up until a few days ago, when it wasn't even a reality yet like it was now.