Winter Hearts

Hongbin Homes In

Siana stowed the ball under one of the park benches, securing it with a bungee rope and small net that was kept there for that purpose. It was a thing all the users of the court understood, and everyone simply trusted that the ball would be there if they wanted to use it.

She gathered up her jacket and slipped it on as she went to her bike to unhook its pedal from the kerb.

Then she and Hongbin walked towards the main road. It was past midday, and she was looking forward to seeing Leo.

She had finally gotten to work her muscles and although it was just for a short time, she felt better for it.

She looked into every eatery they passed, which were all filling up with an older church crowd in their sunday best. They were already halfway home and she still hadn't spied Ken and Panos in any of the places they passed. She supposed Panos might have taken Ken to his father's hotel, which was a little way past the apartment block.

"Do you want to stop to get a takeaway? I don't know where the others went."

Hongbin, who had been quiet all this time, checked the clock on his phone.

"I can have something at home. You have a lunch date. You should get ready," he smiled at her before looking into the next shop.

Siana felt remorse that getting what she wanted, which was that extra time on the court with a playing partner, had caused Hongbin to miss out on not only a nice lunch, but company. Now he was offering to go straight home so that she could have time to prepare for her own appointment.

They reached the building, and she put the bike back in the yard, closing and locking the gate. Hongbin stood waiting as she turned back to look at him.

"Maybe I can order something for you? If Leo doesn't mind, you could join us for lunch? I mean, not that he would mind, it's just that-"

"No. No, no no." Hongbin said, a little too fast. Siana bit her lip.

"Sorry, I just feel bad now. Can make it up to you some other time?"

Hongbin felt alarmed that he wanted to take her up on her promise. It made him uncomfortable that he was close to doing so, if only to keep the lines open with her. After all, she genuinely felt she owed him for keeping him from his friends. His stomach growled. He saw her glance at his tummy and then look up at him with such a sorry expression that he laughed, holding up both hands.

"No, seriously, don't worry about it. There is food in the house and people too. I'll be fine."

She linked her arm with his, apologetically leading him to the door. Reluctantly, he followed, not happy that her proximity, and the gentle pressure that she put on his arm, felt good.

"Oh, I feel awful and selfish. You know Hongbin, you've been so nice to me. At a time we barely knew each other, you cared for my wellbeing."

Hongbin could feel a kind of darkness closing in around him. She didn't know how close she was to melting his resolve not to put himself in her sights. Gently, he extricated himself from her grasp, looking down at her with a tightlipped smile as he let her go in through the door first.

"But I was concerned because of that incident with the vagrants. Anyone would be."

"Well, you were a great comfort, even if you felt you didn't do much. Thank you." She went forward to call for the lift. He didn't know how to respond to her, feeling that saying "you're welcome" was a little trite.

Hongbin felt awkward as they waited for the lift. He wanted to run up the stairs, but he felt he would be rude not waiting with her.

Or am I giving myself an excuse to hang around for longer? He thought. Then he knew he had to get away. He turned to her and smiled politely.

"But yes, awful and selfish." She giggled in surprise, averting her gaze because she believed it was the truth. Hongbin made himself continue, even though he wanted to watch her reaction for longer.

"Anyway, I stink, so, I will take the stairs. Have a nice lunch!" He said almost too cheerfully, leaving her before she could respond. He ran all the way up the stairs without stopping, ringing the doorbell of the penthouse twice.

He was surprised to see Ken open the door.

"Ah, Hongbinnie, we got you some food. Food for everyone, see?"

Hongbin glanced towards the living area where he could see Panos was walking from the balcony in towards the sofas and the fireplace. Hongbin was filled with a sudden dread. What if Panos was in a silly mood and decided to tease him in front of the others like he had the night before? Or what if he said something outright that, up until this morning, Hongbin could have easily laughed off as nonsense.

Now, he was beginning to believe that Panos' suspicions, or teasing rather, were true.

"I'm going to have a shower first," Hongbin said to Ken as he turned away towards the bedrooms, almost walking into Leo, who was about to leave.

"Ah! Hyung! Uh, Siana's not ready, she just got back. I mean, we just got back. We played basketball. All of us! Ken was there too, Panos too."

Hongbin scrabbled past Leo and went into his room, shutting the door behind him.

He sat on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair.

Outright denial.

That was the way he was going to deal with any suggestions that he might be interested in Siana.

They were friends. He had been there for her, as she said, and for which she seemed very grateful and shy about. And she had seemed so prettily shy about it too, he remembered how she was as they had waited for the lift just minutes ago.

Hongbin shook himself, getting up to grab his towel and stripping off his outer layers before heading towards the bathroom.

Feelings were funny, he thought as he got into the shower.

They operated without jurisdiction from the brain. From rational thought.

Well, I am a highly rational person who listens to his head all the time. I can manage my heart, he thought.

And he thought very determinedly about how he would resolve his feelings for her: he would keep his distance, keep busy and preoccupy his mind with thoughts of sightseeing, resting, and relaxing.

Hongbin bent his head, letting the hot spray seep heat into his neck and shoulders. He didn't know how long he stood there, but the hot water had begun to run out by the time he came to a very sad conclusion: he could definitely control his heart, and eventually would be able to get over this sudden infatuation that he had developed.

It would just be a very lonely and hard time that he couldn't share the burden of with anyone.