Winter Hearts

On The Line

Leo felt the message come through on his phone, but he ignored it. He knew, it could be dreaded news. But this moment was very important to him, and also very important to Siana.

Whatever news the message contained, it could wait until he was certain of the outcome of their conversation. Achieving that resolution, whatever it may be, was paramount to him, and he did not want the circumstances of their predicament to distract, sway or affect that in any way. So for now, that message had to wait. It may be urgent, but this was much more important.

Siana had listened to him confess his deepest fear about the situation, and he had been taken aback by her reaction.

Tears had suddenly welled up in her eyes, and she shook her head, almost laughing, as she wiped them roughly away and sniffed.

"Why are you more afraid for me than I am?" she said, her voice thick. Leo didn't answer. He felt he had already said what he had to say, and now her line of questioning was like asking him to repeat himself.

Finally, she looked back at him, her face soft with tears and her lips red. Perhaps she realised she needed to rephrase her words.

"Why do you want to be with me?" she said.

He blinked. This was as direct a question as she could ask without actually asking that other question, "do you love me?"

When he didn't answer, she instinctively crossed her arms over her body, hugging herself tight and looking down at the tiny rocks at her feet.

He searched her face for a clue as to what was going on in her mind. She worried her lip with her teeth, unaware that he was looking at her.

"You could just deny it," she smiled at the ground, her eyes wet.

He shook his head.

"It would save you a lot of trouble. And your company. The boys," she continued, finally looking up at him with that strange smile. He pursed his lips. Why was she saying this? He felt a peculiar anger rising. Had she not understood what he had just said?

That he could never forgive himself if he were to be the cause of her distress.

She seemed to be acting all obtuse about his admission. Had he been unclear? Did she not value what he felt? He had all but confessed love to her, and yet she seemed to be caught up in her pointless pursuit of clarification.

"Or I could fabricate a lie. Pretend it was for a shoot or something," he blurted out, coldly.

Then he saw it, that hurt in her eyes. But, she masked it quickly, nodding, her mouth still smiling.

"It would explain it all very well," she said, nodding.

"I mean, maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe there's nothing to worry about. But if this were to blow up out of proportion, and if, as you say, it could hurt me... You already have the explanation that could make it all go away."

She inhaled deeply, looking out at sea. Then she turned to him, her demeanour finally composed.

"Which is why I ask you again, if it turns out bad, and if it hurts me, then why do you want to be with me?"

She looked at him with eyes still wet, but clear and filled with intention. He realised that, despite her tears, she had all along understood him better than he had understood himself.

Siana was giving him a chance to protect them both.