Winter Hearts

No Matter What

Siana woke up from a few hours of fitful sleep, her dreams fraught with images of Mad Eyes, Leo looking at her like she was disgusting, splashing blood and flashing lights.

She lay in bed, feeling battered and weary. She felt like the last thing she wanted was to see any of the boys. But without thinking, she brought her hand up to her lips.

This was where Leo had rested his mouth on hers and kissed her as if he was drinking honey.

She closed her eyes, reliving the memory. It made her insides grow warm.She had felt so cherished, so wanted, for a moment.

She turned on her side, feeling desire and sadness all at once.

He could have let her touch him, let her put her fingers through his hair, run her hands down his neck and shoulders. He could have let her have that, but he had torn that away from her, and she couldn't let it go.

She wanted to know why.

And he had asked her to give him the chance to explain, but she thought that maybe knowing would be worse.

What if the real truth was that he changed his mind halfway through their kiss? That he simply didn't desire her anymore.

What if the real truth was that he was unkind? That it was all a joke?

She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't delude herself into thinking that she was in love, but these horrible feelings of uncertainty were exactly why she had avoided having a serious boyfriend for so long.

Why was she letting this one person whom she barely knew, get to her like this? She felt all the confidence she had about herself was being shaken.

She sat up, determined not to let this bring her down.

If he was fickle, and decided she wasn't worth it just because of their kiss, she didn't need someone like him.

If he was unkind and was playing her, then good riddance.

She got up, deciding to go down to the studio early to start warming up before the others arrived. As she pottered around, making her bed, washing up in the bathroom and making breakfast, she thought of the man upstairs who had such a hold over her.

She sat stirring a tea at the table. It was an unreal situation. She had been crushing on Leo for several years, had met him, and discovered that there was a mutual attraction which had seemed so deep and uncontrollable that they had shared a kiss within 24 hours of meeting.

It was natural that he would have this hold over her - but she still didn't like it.

She disliked that he seemed to have all the power, and had even changed the tone of their relationship without thought of her needs or wants, with his outrageous reaction.

But her anger from the night before had dissipated. Now she felt ragged at the edges, as if she had been through a tumbler and had her dreams washed away.

That awful sadness was all mixed up with the lingering sensual feelings that the kiss had awakened in her, and it made her feel frustrated.

She sipped her tea, feeling irritated.

She didn't need this in her life. She couldn't face another how many weeks feeling like this, especially with him being in such close proximity. She had to get over him and dive into work and busy-ness and being happy to be here in Greece.

No matter what, she would put that Leo out of her mind.

No matter what.