Winter Hearts

When Leo Thinks of Eating

After the radio interview, Ravi, Ken and Hyuk asked to be dropped off on Ermou Street for some shopping.

They still had dinner to record that night, a casual affair just among themselves. And then in the morning they would be touring Plaka and the Acropolis.

Leo sat in the back, feeling like he had done well despite his impatience that afternoon. He had paid as much attention as he could during the interview, but the lag between the interpreter and the DJ host had been tiresome, and in the end the producers realised it was making for slow radio, so they got them to sing a few songs acapella and then cut the show short. Instead they were asked to choose a song on their current playlist and write a few words describing why they liked it. The producers would translate it, record a brief description based on their words and play it as a small special of sorts.

Then, the obligatory pictures and signings and presentations of the album to the host.

They were soon on their way, and whilst the younger ones had felt it was an opportunity to have some time walking the streets shopping, Leo felt exhausted. He had found it difficult to keep his mind free of Siana, but even more difficult trying not to feel like a bad thing was about to happen. Since speaking with Hyuk, a kind of dread had fallen over him, like he had unfinished business he hadn't taken care of, but couldn't for the life of him think what it could be. It played on his nerves, as if he were nervous before an exam he hadn't prepared for, or as if he was ill-prepared for a concert.

He was surprised to note that N also had very little energy, as did Hongbin. They sat separately in the car, each looking out of the window in their own reverie.

"Guys," Leo began, clearing his throat. N turned bodily to look behind him, focused. Hongbin shifted in his seat and looked over.

"I really am grateful for what you are doing. You two have been very close to me during this time. And both of you close to Siana."

Leo paused, noting that Hongbin looked away.

"I know things could be different. I could have handled things differently. Maybe it might have been better to be more open and honest to the public. But I cannot act without speaking to Siana first, and we didn't have time to discuss things properly before we left."

He heard Hongbin snort quietly, then caught N's glance. N smiled that tight-lipped smile of his. Leo knew it was his way of covering for an awkward situation, and urging him to go on without thinking too much.

"Do you think I could have done anything different. Better?"

He looked over at Hongbin, who had bowed his head and was sticking his chin out. He sensed that perhaps Hongbin disapproved of how things had gone, and he understood that maybe Hongbin felt protective of Siana, and wished he had done more to protect her. Leo felt disturbed that Hongbin might feel that way, but also grateful for his care of Siana.

"Leo-ssi. The matter was taken out of your hands as soon as those videos came to light. Do not beat yourself up over this. I notice you have been trying very hard to look after us, but you do not need to do that. We are all committed to carrying out our work as representatives of home and company. This is not a difficulty for us."

N cocked his head slightly, looking as bird-like as ever. Leo nodded, thankful for the words, but not any less encumbered by his feelings of dread.

"Hongbin-ssi, what do you think?" N turned his attention to Hongbin, who snapped his head up and cleared his throat.

"Leo Hyung needs to decide just how far he wants his commitment to go with Siana. And then see if she is willing to match his goals. Then they need to decide whether they will make a revelation and then brace themselves for whatever comes, if they do."