Winter Hearts

Realisation Hits Siana

Siana showered and changed into jeans and a long sleeved tee, towel-dried her hair like there was no tomorrow, and found the cash wallet her father gave her for any guest purchases she would have to make.

She felt bewildered and a bit in shock. She had practically accidentally hugged Cha Hakyeon, though technically he had done the holding part, looked up into the amused eyes of Hyuk, had Ken make eyes at her and Ravi smile as he walked past. Then Hongbin had chatted with her and finally, after all that, the one creature she thought she might never ever meet in her lifetime, Leo, shared a giggle with her as they rode up facing the wrong way in the tiny lift.

Thank the heavens for that trusty old, tiny lift that can only fit two people, she thought wryly.

For such a momentous occasion as meeting her favourite pop idols, it went about as awkwardly as one could expect.

She had no time to think about it much, since they had graciously waited for her to change. She pulled a fresh hoodie out, zipped it up and pulled up the hood to keep her head warm till the sun warmed up the day, and grabbed her bubble jacket. At the door, she pulled on some calf-length boots, tucking her jeans into them.

She paused, questioning her fashion sense for moment. After-ski party on the bottom, marketplace housewife on the top.

When it came to fashion Siana always erred on the side of comfort. Like, whatever-is-clean-and-doesn't-restrict-breathing-or-bodily-functions kind of comfort. She had always been fine with that. Now, today, she wished she was a little more put together.

Ah, who cares? It wasn't like her clothes made her who she was. I make me who I am, she thought, smiling. Like how my mama taught me.

She grabbed her keys and practically flew down the stairs.

Almost into N's waiting arms, it seemed. He appeared at the foot of the stairs just as she was slowing down to take the last steps, and held his hand out for her. She was surprised, mostly because, she was practically taking the last step. But she couldn't deny it felt good to have a reason to take his hand, and to see his eyes smiling down at her. He immediately linked arms with her, pulling her quite close into the side of his body as they walked out into the early morning sunshine.

"Siana smells delicious," he announced to everyone. She saw Leo and Ken turn to look at them. Leo looked at her briefly, then looked at N. The eye contact was too short, but it made her feel uncomfortable to be the centre of attention.

"Like a flower?" Ken said cutely.

"Like beef?" She heard Hyuk from behind her. She heard Hongbin smack him. Hyuk giggled, "But hyung, beef does smell delicious."

"Like flowers and wild herbs," N said. He must be smelling her shampoo, which was supposedly made from beer. It was a commercially-flavoured version of the real thing, which girls used to use to give their hair lustre. It had a bittersweet smell, almost like tea, or wheatgrass. She liked that N liked it as much as she did.

She disengaged from his arm, feeling a little too close for comfort. He took her arm again, winding it around his and asking her which way. When she pointed to the right, toward the centre of the town, and toward the sea, he started walking, pulling her along with him and calling for Hyuk to follow.

"Miss Siana, you know who we are, and you know how long we will be here. Your father has given us special assurance that we will enjoy our privacy while we are here. He says we can trust you. Is that true?"

Siana nodded as she half-listened to Hyuk's interpreting and half-understood N's own words.

"Not to say that other people here may know who we are, but if somehow our location is found out, it could make it difficult for us to stay here as we have planned."

She stopped and pulled out of his grasp to face him.

"I am a fan, but I'm not stupid. It would cost my father and myself very dearly if we were to cause a major problem for a customer. We have a strict confidentiality policy here, so that won't be a problem."

N looked a little taken aback. She realised she was probably not observing cultural formalities, but she wasn't very familiar with them even though she was partly of the same culture. She simply didn't have enough experience of it. She felt a little offended by N's presumption that she needed to be reminded of their professional relationship, when it was they who set the casual tone, and he who invited her to join them for breakfast.

Hyuk stepped in, saying gently that they had to take precautions for security reasons, and that he hoped she would understand. Siana nodded, and returned his smile. She realised the atmosphere was a little tense, so she asked them if they would feel more comfortable dealing with her father.

N shook his head, taking her arm once again and walking on. He made a gentle apology, which made her feel bad, so she apologised too. He changed the subject, asking her about her dancing.

She went with it, wanting the mood to lighten again. She told him how she had been dancing from young, and began working with a dance group who did mall events, backup dancing and commercials. It was mostly street, but she had done some training in ballet and ethnic dances.

He asked if she was a soloist, if she was experienced in dancing with partners and whether she had done her own choreography. She explained that mostly she performed in a group, but that she had done some partner work and choreography. She revealed that even when she had just graduated high school, she had been performing for almost five years before that as a semi-professional, and since starting college she had been teaching amateur kid dance classes here in Itea during the last three years' Christmas holidays.

"You started young. Like pop idols do," N said.

Hyuk asked if she would ever audition for a pop idol group, since she was obviously talented in dance.

"How would you know?" She asked. N and Hyuk looked at her sideways. She gasped. They nodded, their eyes alive with the memory of what they had seen that morning.

"How much did you see?!" She asked, her voice high. She shut her mouth and turned around to see if they others had heard. Her actions caught the attention of Hongbin, who was a little behind them, walking with Leo, Ken and Ravi. Hongbin came forward to hear.

"Enough to understand a LOT about you," joked N, sharing a laugh with Hyuk.

Siana was mortified. She may as well have been stripping, she thought in despair. She put a hand up to cover her face as she thought about how she had committed a hundred percent to her facial expressions as she has grinded against her imaginary partner that morning.

I mean, who does that at 6 in the morning?! She put her other hand up to cover her face. But then, she thought, hang on, there was nothing wrong about her dancing, which was intended for the public eye anyway, at one point. She dropped her hands, shaking her head.

Get real, Siana.The only ones actually doing that kind of dancing for money were the six boys around her.