Winter Hearts

Leo Makes A Decision

Leo rode up to Delphi in troubled silence.

He thought back to the moment he came down the stairs with Hongbin and realised that Siana and her father were in a bit of a situation. Hongbin had acted immediately, stepping in to break the tension, but he himself had hung back, unsure of how he could help. 

He had glanced at Siana as she had answered Hongbin's question in a steady voice, and had seen a look of determined calm in her eyes, which told him that she had the situation under her control.

He recognised that she was steeling herself for the possibility of a bad reaction from the two vagrants who had come in to the apartment lobby. They weren't threatening, but they had an air of danger about them. He thought perhaps because the one who had leaned in close to her seemed a little unhinged, and unpredictable.

She could be close to attack by a madman, or just being stood too close to by someone a little light in the head.

When they decided to leave, he found himself walking forward menacingly, a strength and power imbuing his strides with the threat of violence. He knew that he could give off an impression of danger, or latent violence, and often found that that served him well, usually on the playing field - or on the stage.

Even so, he felt ineffective and a little over-dramatic, and wished he had been more forthcoming about his concern for Siana.

He had watched her get into her car, chatting with her dad as if nothing had happened, and wondered if he could ever really be able to care for someone who seemed to have so little need to be looked after.

She didn't seem to need help from anyone. What do you give someone who doesn't need anything from you?

Leo thought that the world was a clear cut place, where if you did the right thing and worked hard, your life would pan out as you wished it to. He believed that, ultimately, after all the fanfare of celebrity, after he finally set himself up for life, his purpose was to have a family and be someone that could be depended upon. 

Someone who could bring happiness to his loved ones.

Dating was sporadic since he started working, but relationships with girls always seemed to take the same route: the girlier, the needier, the better the fit someone was for him. After all, it fit with his life goal, didn't it, to have someone who needed him more than he needed her?

But there had always been something missing, and eventually relationships would fizzle out. He thought that it was a side-effect of being ambitious. He had no time to care for someone properly, even before he became an idol. You couldn't become an idol if you valued your relationships and your personal space over the group's. If you eventually went solo, it was because your obsession with self-expression and success went beyond that of the group you were with in the first place.

Just now he had come face to face with the idea that maybe someone he was interested in, might just not need him or even reciprocate his interest.

It was an alarming prospect, and more than a little depressing. He might be able to dazzle his way into any girl's heart, but now he wondered, could he really satisfy this particular one's needs?

Seeing Siana handle herself so well, even when she could have let her father defend the situation and her, sent a clear message to Leo: if she were to choose him, it wouldn't be because he could fight her fights for her, or care for her, or do things for her.

That was what scared him the most: what could he offer her if she didn't need all those things?

He suddenly realised that he was thinking of her as a potential mate. He shook his head and nibbled at his lower lip. Why was he thinking like that, getting so caught up in her?