Winter Hearts

Never Again

When Leo realised Siana was standing just a few metres away, he could hardly concentrate on the spectacle before them. He saw her face first, watching the guards changing with a kind of pride, but then he noticed that she was cold, shivering.

He looked down to see her beautiful legs dressed in a pair of skinny jeans that she had rolled up high, exposing her ankles.

Below them, she was wearing a pair of strappy high heels that were barely there: making her look as if she were standing on her tiptoes. She looked cold from having bare feet, but the shape she made wearing those heels was delectable: it changed her posture, changed her demeanour, and made him want to run his hands all over her.

He surreptitiously looked to see where the camera was, noting that with a little sideways stepping he could naturally move out of frame. As the camera shifted to take in the movement of the passing soldiers, he slipped behind Ravi and Ken and walked out of frame.

He crossed the square quickly, striding toward her, willing her to look at him - but she didn't notice him approaching at first. He took in her profile, her clear eyes watching the guards with a kind of wistfulness for the sight that he envied. She looked enamoured of not just the sight of the guards, but who and what they represented, like honour, courage and loyalty.

It inspired feelings in him he had preciously thought he would ever feel - like the desire to catch her looking at him just like that. If only he could inspire that in her too.

That fear that he had felt during her absence, the one that he had nurtured quietly since it sprang up during his conversation with Hyuk, the dread of facing the possibility that he had somehow set in motion a series of events that would lead to her being hurt, to her suddenly seeing him as a betrayer, or, somehow worse, negligent of his care for her, suddenly transmuted into something else: the fear that he would lose her, never have her in the truest sense, never really be able to see his desire for her become a full-fledged love.

He felt an urgency rise in his chest, felt his blood quicken as he took longer, faster strides towards her.

Finally, she saw him, and turned to face him with such a look of welcome and happiness that his heart surged.

She seemed to catch her breath just as he reached her, and he slowed just in time to reach for her face and pull her close to kiss her full on her lips. She responded immediately, her hands going around his body under his jacket.

The last time they had kissed, was a quick goodbye as he had left her apartment just before they left for Athens. Before that, their kisses were lustful, physical, animal. But this... this was an expression of something else, something needful, intimate. Something vulnerable.

It was about missing her, about being overwhelmed with need for her, and wanting to never feel that strange fear that he had let her down again. And she kissed him back with a tenderness that spoke of a total acceptance of him as he was, something he had never thought he cared to have from her, or anyone. He could feel himself melting against her, wishing he could have her alone, wishing he could become one with her on so many levels.

He felt a rising feeling in his chest, and couldn't help breaking the kiss to stop the feeling that he was choking back some emotion. It was a little alarming as he wasn't used to his thoughts and feelings manifesting strongly as physical reactions. He leaned his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the cold air. She smiled, letting her nose trace up the side of his, and placing a tiny kiss on his forehead as he bent his head.

With a gasp, he started, "I..." When she leaned in to nuzzle against his neck, he paused. What exactly did he want to say?

"I missed you," he finally whispered, not feeling satisfied with those words. He wasn't doing his feelings justice. There was something more, but he couldn't say it.