Winter Hearts

Mirror Mirror

Siana came downstairs the next morning, nerves playing catch in her belly.

When she saw Leo last night in the stairwell, he had appeared so suddenly that she didn't have time to prepare herself. She was caught off guard, and had felt so shy of him she couldn't find a place to look. She was also in the midst of processing the knowledge that probably everyone in Vixx knew something about what was going on.

He seemed unwilling to acknowledge her, and that hurt a lot more than she thought it would.

She had tossed and turned in bed as midnight had approached, and was about to doze off when she heard the shutter doors to the balcony above hers creak open. She knew it was him, taking some air outside.

She had gone still, as if he could somehow tell she was awake from where he was.

No matter what I tell myself about his shitty behaviour, I can't stop thinking about whether he thinks of me, she complained to herself.

She was a 21st Century Single Lady failure. All the sass she thought she had, all those smarts, all the brains and all the attitude and how happy she was to be independent - all melted away every time an errant thought of how he was doing came into her mind.

She fluffed a pillow and lay it across her eyes, folding it down over her face to cover her ears. She lay her arms over it to pin the pillow down. The sensation of hearing herself breathing was a little off-putting, and as she began to relax, she started to hear her pulse in her ear.

She sat up, uncomfortable.

She got her phone and checked her messages. In a week's time, Min would be in Athens. The last time she had mentioned it, Siana was all excited about Vixx being in her home.

Now she couldn't wait to get away from them for a while and spend some time Leo-free in Athens with a girlfriend. They could have manicures and spas or go shopping or just eat. She was hoping Min would be in the mood to have some fun.

She checked her social media. Her selfie post from Arachova had gotten two types of responses: people who had no idea what she meant by the hashtag #dots, and people who went ape over her being so lucky to be there.

She checked Leo's profile without thinking. He hadn't posted since before travelling. Neither had any of the others. She wondered how long they could go before they had to become active again online. Surely their fans were wondering where they were or what they were doing?

She put the phone down.

When she finally lay back, it was to thoughts of the morning's activities. She hoped they wouldn't insist on her hang-gliding too.

She had done paragliding from the same launch point before, and the euphoria of gliding down into the deep valley below and out into open land was a real high.

She didn't want to feel that and then come crashing down when she was faced with Leo at the bottom of the trip. How could she smile at him and laugh and squeal at how amazing it was, if he were just biding his time to tell her some awful news about why he couldn't bring himself to complete his kiss that night?

She would want to jump in his arms and let him feel her pounding heart beat against his. She would want to look into his smiling eyes and know he understood her and felt the same high.

She turned over onto her stomach, lying over a pillow and folding her arms around it.

Her thoughts turned to Leo over and over again. She had done so well being distracted over the past week. And now, knowing she had to see him tomorrow, she seemed to be losing any modicum of control she had over her thoughts of him.