Winter Hearts

Master Han

Leo could barely take a moment to look at his phone. They were doing a long take of them chatting as they walked through the streets of Plaka, basically recapping what they had done and mentioning Hongbin so that they could finish with a final take with the six of them together. As the light was fading, they wanted to capture the beauty of the sunset so they had to keep working and taking covering angles.

Since coming to Athens they had had very little time to themselves, having been greeted by the Korean representative and chaperoned all day until their first event that evening. As soon as they had arrived, they were ferried to the embassy and taken photos of with the ambassador in their official great room. They exchanged pleasantries and gifts over tea. Of course, Kkomae had a stash of signed albums and Korean candies for the embassy at the ready. They toured the grounds and asked about Koreans living in Greece and the possibility of a concert one day.

Mostly N did the talking, sometimes deliberately obtuse in order to elicit a response from the envoy. N had figured very quickly that one of the easiest ways to do away with the awkwardness of silence, was to either talk all the time, or let someone else do the talking. All one had to do was listen attentively to create an impression of politeness and mindfulness, and be ready to pick up where the other left off. Within Vixx, it was Hongbin and Hyuk who next filled that role the best. The others, though courteous, had less patience. Leo found it particularly difficult that first day, for besides being apart from Siana, he felt their sudden extraction from their idyllic holiday in Itea to be a steep curve to get over.

His distraction was all-consuming. He felt his reluctance keenly, and thought of how the boys must feel, having to do this when it could all have been avoided. Then, his own guilt kicked in, and he tried his best to tamp down on his own feelings so that he could try to participate as well as everyone else, who were doing it well for his sake.

The mental and emotional exertion was unbalancing, and he could only watch himself as he over-reacted and missed cues and mumbled his way through the day. It became worse when he realised that sometimes, the others were covering for him and guiding him through - something else he was burdening them with.

After a small dinner where they met with officials and other diplomats, he left the event hall to take some air outside. The city of Athens was sprawling and low to the ground - millenia of earthquakes and destruction had taught its citizens to build their house low so that they had a better chance of withstanding the rumbles of the earth. He hadn't yet seen much of the city but what he had seen was grey and grimy, just like any strange city whose welcome only extended as far as the interior of their car, their concert halls or their hotel rooms.

That first night, on a balcony close to the centre of town, he could see a sea of lights extended as far as the eye could see, and a partial view of the beautifully lit Acropolis. The sky was clear but dark. He couldn't see the stars as he had in Itea.

He leaned on the rail and took a deep, releasing breath. He heard someone approach him from behind.

"Hyungie, are you alright?"

He turned to see Hyuk joining him. He watched him as he leaned against the railing and turned his splendid profile towards the sky. He wondered how the maknae seemed to go through life never taking a wrong step. Despite his lack of certainty at the beginning, Hyukkie always had an inner confidence that he admired. Hyuk had always seemed assured of his loveability, whereas Leo saw himself as never quite together. Even when he was performing well, he had struggled to be comfortable with himself for so long. Hyuk had an innate trust in others' love of him.

Somehow, they both seemed to mesh well when it came to interactions on camera, but it was true offscreen as well. Leo realised it had much to do with his own acceptance of himself as Hyukkie's subject in all things to do with humour, teasing, and physical manhandling.