Winter Hearts

The Comfort of Welcome

Leo walked into the hotel lobby to find it was already busy with people milling around the six long rows of tables set out mess-style to accommodate about ten people per table. They were arranged so that access to the space in front of the tiny stage was easy. There was a lot of space too, and he realised that that was for dancing.

The stage was already set and he could see about ten men all dressed in black, getting ready to play. There were three main players holding stringed instruments which looked like banjos and mandolins, an electric guitarist with two other acoustic guitars ready and set up for him to use as he wished next to him. On the other side of the three main players was a bass guitarist, and behind him a drum set stood waiting as the drummer adjusted the floor fan that was set up for him. A keyboard player sat next to the piano and he had a mic set up for him to sing, as did two of the main string players. Behind the electric guitarist, a percussionist stood surrounded by his various drums, bells and chimes as he checked them all for sound.

Ravi turned around to give him a look of surprise. There was very little amplification, only for the microphones and the electric instruments. The main instruments were not wired up but there were microphones set up to capture their acoustic sound. Leo supposed the main string players would be heard because of the sheer volume of the three of them playing all at once.

He saw Ravi point to a small banquet table that had been stacked with piles and piles of white crockery - side plates stacked as tall as they could go. He and Ken went up for further inspection, which was when Siana's father joined them and began pointing to the plate-laden table. Leo watched them listening to Mr Mikhalis, who was quite animated, picking up small baskets which had been filled with the flowerheads of red and white carnations. There were at least 20 such tiny baskets on the table along with the dozens of plates stacked high. He saw Mr Mikhalis list up the skirt of the table and the boys react when they saw that under it were more baskets, neatly stacked and ready to replenish supplies later.

The tables were laden with bowls of salads, cheese, piatellas of roast lamb legs, roast chicken and grilled fish, all surrounded by mounds of pasta, steaming plates of cooked vegetables and pots of stew. Loaves of bread that were almost sliced through were placed straight on the table top next to stacks of glass tumblers and carafes of wine.

After the initial awe of seeing such a splendid spread, Leo realised that more than a few heads had turned, some faces looking a little hostile, some openly curious and others nonplussed - the usual reaction they seemed to attract when they were noticed as a group.

He saw N wave at them cutely out of the corner of his eye and would have shaken his head if some of the crowd hadn't waved back.  Spontaneously, N and those people stepped towards each other to shake hands and speak to each other without understanding. He was always surprised by how easily N plowed through awkward situations.

I suppose because he is the kind to wave cutely without a care, while I am the kind who would judge him for doing so, Leo thought to himself as he saw N being dragged towards a table where someone was offering him a drink already. He turned to check where Kkomae and Min Seok were, and found them crowding around Hongbin and Hyuk, who were already surrounded by a set of matching aunties and grandmas.

Everyone seems to be getting some love, and here I am, not even sure what to do with my hands, Leo thought, wanting to put them into his pockets but not wanting to look as if he was uncomfortable, or disinterested. They hung awkwardly by his side until he clasped them together at his crotch. Weird but comfortable, he thought.

He felt an old familiar feeling come over him. He wanted to walk up to someone, listen in, join in, take part. But he dreaded being unnoticed, or worse, unwanted, or bothersome. He felt silly and irrational, but the feeling was real and so deeply ingrained it sometimes had this paralysing effect on him. He scanned the room, telling himself that none of the boys actually went looking to get involved in people's business, but people had approached them to get them involved.