Winter Hearts

N Particular

N wiped the condensation from the mirror and absent-mindedly checked his wet hair as he leaned on the counter.

He was beginning to regret moving his stuff into Leo's bathroom because there was only a tub, which was nice, but not something N often liked to luxuriate in. He liked showers.

No - he liked his shower back home.

He liked getting into it after a long day and seeing his products arranged just so on the window sill, and liked that water didn't get everywhere like it did here when he stood in the tub to shower.

Although there was a shower curtain, he couldn't help but notice the water droplets escaping the curtain and dripping out onto the floor near the gap at the wall. Furthermore, he had to walk across the hallway from his room and into Leo's private space to get here.

And whilst he didn't mind cleaning up after himself, it made him miss the shower that he liked back home.

And whilst he preferred sharing with Leo over sharing with the other two, they had a shower with a closing door that kept water off the floor. This was a sore point.

After a long day taking photos and the previous long day travelling, he couldn't help thinking that he had to keep giving himself a pep talk about being happy where he was - and he was beginning to wonder if he was really thinking about the bathroom situation, or something else.

Tonight, he and Leo had made loose arrangements to take Min and Siana out on a double date of sorts, and whilst he was eager to have some time away from all the boys, he wondered if he would be fit company for the girls this evening.

It had dawned on him when he was with Kkomae and Ken earlier, that he was running out of energy.

Not physical energy, but mental, emotional energy. He still cared - but he felt tired more.

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he saw something dull in his eyes, something that once he would have extinguished quickly with his unbending desire to never give in to it.

Now, it rather seemed as if another inner Hakyeon was tired of himself always doing the right thing, always showing up, always having boundless optimism.

It rather seemed like happy him had tired out the inner him, who now looked at himself with a judging eye, albeit a listless one.

He fluffed his damp hair, not bothering to dry or style it, and slapped on some lotion distractedly before wrapping his towel tightly around his waist and stepping out of the bathroom. He emerged with a rather dramatic puff of steam and only realised how silly it might have looked when he saw Leo, lounging on the bed, look up from his phone and then look back down again with a smirk.

"Checking your likes?" he asked petulantly, shuffling to the bedroom door.

Leo shook his head and turned his phone to show an enthusiastically physical someone in a boxing ring.

"Jang Hyuk sunbaenim trains at my boxing gym."

"Oh goody," N murmured as he walked out into the warmer hallway. Leo always kept his balcony door a little open, and he liked feeling the chill seep in through it - but out in the hallway, the ambient warmth from the fireplace beyond, pervaded the air throughout the rest of the house, and it seemed to envelop N and soothe his listless nerves somewhat.

He padded across the hallway and into his room. He went to his dresser and started opening drawers, looking for underwear, an undershirt and socks. He dressed quickly in his underclothes, and sat on the bed to pull on his socks. He heard someone give a soft knock at his door.