Septiplier One Shots

Panicking

(Mark's P.O.V)

When someone's having a panic attack there's one thing people say. Breathe. Slow down and steady your breathing and you'll be fine. Well guess what? It is not that easy. Not for me anyways. For some that method may work, but I've been dealing with panic attacks most of my life and I've always had to have some special method. 

This method changed throughout the years, a new one for a month, another new one for the next year, change for a couple months, etc. The only thing that has stayed constant is that I can not calm myself down on my own. I need someone to help me. And nobody could easily provide that for me.

I mean, yeah, they got me to calm down. But it took a while and after I'd be really shaken up still. It was only about three years ago, when I met him, when I had that person. The person who could calm me in any situation, and keep me calm for longer then 24 hours. The method is the same too.

Just a series of steps and observations that he guides me through. By the time we're done I'm calm, focused, and happy. The person who helps me with this stuff used to be my best friend Seán. Now, however, it's someone different. My boyfriend... Seán. That's right. A year ago we started dating, three years ago we met. And I've never been happier then when I'm with him.

The only thing is he lives in Ireland, so we make trips to see each other, we Skype even with the 8 hour time difference. It works. He's visiting this week actually, and I'm so ridiculously happy about it. This week is surely going to be the best.

***

Seán and I just had a huge argument. I brought up the idea of him moving out here and he got really defensive, and then it just got worse from there. We argued, we yelled. He marched out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. At first I was angry. Then upset. And now...

I'm sitting in my room, on the floor, against the wall. Tears are streaming down my face, and my breathing is fast and irregular. I'm very familiar with this. It's another damn panic attack. But I have a reason. What if he doesn't come back? What if I screwed up like I screw up with everything? I'm sure I did. 

He isn't gonna come back. That was the end. I was stupid and ignorant and screwed it up. Now he's gone, and he's gonna be gone forever. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I lost him. I lost Seán...

I can't stop the tears, I can't slow my breathing. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a never-ending loop of panic without him. Because of my commotion I don't hear the door open, but I do see it. I don't know who it is, but no matter what I can't calm myself. 

"Mark?" Comes the soft, beautiful Irish voice I grew to love so much. He comes over and kneels down in front of me, regret and sadness in his eyes. "Mark, hon, calm down. Okay? Breathe..." He says. I try. I fail. And so we begin the steps.

"What's my name?" He asks. 

"Seán." I say quickly. He nods.

"Good. What's your name?" He asks.

"Mark." I say, just as quickly. He nods again.

"Good. What's one of our friends names?" He asks. 

I have to rack my scrambled brain for an answer. "Felix." I say then, just a quick dash of syllables. Seán nods.

"Okay. Again, slower." He says. I nod.

"Felix." I say, actually saying it instead of rushing it. He nods. 

"Good. Now tell me four things you see." He says. I nod a bit, looking around my room.

"Um... My laptop. My bed. My..." I stop, holding back a sob. He waits, patient. I continue. "My mirror. A lamp."

He smiles softly. "Good. You're doing great Mark. Now, tell me three colors you see." He says. I look at him, my breathing slower and more steady. 

"Your hair is green." I say, reaching up and messing up his hair. He chuckles. I look for more colors. "Your shirt is red." I say, playing with his shirt sleeve. He nods and I finish, looking him in the eye. "And your eyes are a beautiful blue." By now I'm calm, perfectly so. He smiles, nodding. 

"You know you need to start saying more colors then just what's on me." He says. I chuckle.

"But you're beautiful. And you help me calm down." I say simply. He blushes a bit and nods. 

"Now Mark..." I know what's up next. I don't want to answer it, but I know I need too. "Why did you panic?" 

I sigh. This is going to sound stupid. "I thought you weren't coming back..." I say it so quietly I wasn't even sure if he heard me. But he did and as soon as I say it his face falls. 

"Oh Mark..." He says, quickly wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I hug back, burying my face in his neck. He puts one hand on the back of my head, the other in the dip of my back. "I will never leave you." 

"But you walked out. And you were so mad." I say, tears coming to my eyes. He chuckles.

"It was the stupidest thing I've ever done. I was just scared. Scared of the idea of leaving everything I'm familiar with. Not that I don't want to live with you... But you understand." He says. I nod, closing my eyes and letting the few tears go away. I don't cry. I hold it back. "But I will never leave you Mark. Ever. I promise." 

He pulls back from the hug and smiles softly, before kissing me. Just a short kiss, but a kiss that says everything it needed to nonetheless. It said exactly what Seán did. That he'll always love me, and that he is right here. He helps me stand up, only to take me over to the bed, lying me down. He lies down next to me, holding me in his arms still.

"I love you, so much. And I promise we'll live together one day." He says. I nod, smiling. 

"I love you too." I say. And we kiss once more, lying together, cuddled on the bed. 

What I didn't see was the little box Jack had in his pocket, that he soon gave to me only a couple hours later. 

A/N: Here you go. Cute fluff you haven't gotten in a while. I like this. It was just an idea I got today, so I think it works better then I thought it would. =) <3