The art of love | ziam!het au✔️

41 | Zayn

41 - Broken hearts and empty spaces

It's been a week now since he found out he lost the love of his life. And not just that, he also lost his child. His first ever child. He's been locked away in his apartment, doing nothing but drink away the pain and sorrow with two bottles of whiskey and bourbon. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what the meaning of life was. Without her, he felt like he was nothing. Just an empty waste of space.

She was everything to him. Everything. The air he needed to breathe, the light that lit up the darkness inside him, the missing piece of the puzzle he called life. She was the only one that understood him, the only one that could make him smile and always want to wake up.

And now, she was gone. Out of his life forever. No matter how many people told him she wasn't, she was. And all Zayn could feel was hurt, regret, pain and sorrow. His heart was aching and the only way for him to forget the pain was the sweet, strong taste of alcohol burning up his throat.

The man was laying in his king sized bed, his eyes red and puffy from all the crying he's been doing lately, his arms wrapped around the sweater she used to wear a lot. He kept inhaling her sweet scent. The scent he loved on her. His eyes watered for the fifth time that day, his grip around the soft fabric tightening.

The funeral was tomorrow, Zayn wasn't looking forward to it. He just couldn't bare the thought of watching her casket sink down into the ground. He wasn't ready to face reality, to let her go completely.

The man sniffled, looking over at snowflake and Watson who were laying beside him, the kitten releasing a small meow before she got up from where she was lying, squeezing her way into Zayn's arms.

"Hey kitten." Zayn chuckled through his tears, running his fingers through her fluffy fur. Snowflake purred at that, cuddling into his owners side and under the sweater.

She gave a weak meow as she sniffed the familiar scent of the sweater, burying her small head into the fabric and closed her small eyes. "I know, I miss her too." The man spoke softly, gently scratching behind her ear. He knew he wasn't the only depressed one here.

Watson was also sad. For days now, he's been hearing him whimper, spotting him stand in front of the door, waiting for her to come back home, bring him snacks. Yet every day, nothing happened. The door never got unlocked and no one came in. He couldn't eat anymore, just like Zayn. He couldn't sleep anymore, just like Zayn. It was heartbreaking, especially for Watson who was raised by the brunette, taken care of and given so much love to. Zayn knew Liam was like a mother to Watson, always treating him like he was her baby even though he was a huge a dog, but she never seemed to care about what size he was, she loved the Great Dane so much, that Zayn even got jealous most times.

A weak chuckle came from him at the memory of him getting jealous because the dog was receiving more love than him, placing his hand on Watson's back. The dog turned his head to look at his owner before looking away again, letting him pet him.

He hated himself for what happened that night. He blamed himself for not driving when the light did turn green. He hated himself for letting her unbuckle herself and almost step out. He just hated himself.

He never asked for any of it. For days, even nights, he's been hoping it was all just a dream, a nightmare, wishing that he could open his eyes and see her beautiful smile again, hear her laugh, watch the way her eyes crinkled at the sides and sparkle with so much fond and love. He wished he could reverse the time and save her, save her before she could even unbuckle herself.

As he thinks back to what happened, he noticed that their last words they spoke to each other, were I hate you, Zayn's heart aching even more. The last time they said I love you to each other was the night before, the last time they made love to each other, the last time they became one.

More tears formed his puffy eyes, blinking them to try and at least not cry again, but it didn't work, the tears rolled down his cheeks, snowflake lifting her head up as she felt one drip on her head. She stood up, making her way to his face and licked away the tears before dropping herself against him, cuddling even more and purring so softly, the tension in Zayn's body slowly relaxing.

He closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of Liam's sweater one last time before he slowly drifted into a deep sleep, hoping he would never wake up again.

****

This pains me so much omg, I've been shedding tears while writing this 😭 the perks of being a very emotional person 😰

It's short I know but here you go, most chapters will be Zayn's point of view but there'll also be switches in between which means you get to know what others think.

There are only nine more chapters left to this book, I really hope you continue to read this story even if ziam is over, it may hurt but there will be some moments that will brighten everything back up.

And don't you think it's weird that the lights of the car suddenly appeared and that it drove full speed? 🤔