The art of love | ziam!het au✔️

48 | Zayn

48 - Visiting her grave

It was the night of the art gallery opening. Zayn was completely nervous but he knew he had to get through it. He did everything there needed to be done in less than a week, so he had time to visit her before going. He was dressed in his best tux, his long hair slicked back with some hair gel. Thanks to Natasha who helped him with the styling.

As he walked through the cemetery, holding the bouquet of red roses and her favorite scented candle, his eyes scanned all of the graves, looking at the different sized and shaped stones that held the memories on it.

His lips curled a small smile one he stepped in front of the one grave that held the person he loved the most. He stared at the stone for five minutes, not really getting any words out of his mouth. He hasn't visited her grave in a while due to everything that was going on, but he decided talking to her now would give him luck for the art gallery.

"Hey baby," Zayn started and cleared his throat, slowly kneeling down to place the bouquet on her grave. "I know I haven't come around in a while but that's just because I've been busy with the diner. So, I'm–" he bit his lip as he stopped, sighing. "Tonight's the night of the art gallery and I thought, visiting you would give me a little more luck and confidence to present my masterpiece I made for you." He traced his fingertips over the carved stone, smiling softly at the initials on it.

"I just want you to know that even though you're not with us anymore, we still love you and miss you. I– I still love you and miss you. And I hope God is treating you well up there." The young man sniffled and chuckled through his tears that managed to escape and roll down his cheeks.

"Watson and snowflake still cuddle with a mountain of your clothes that you wanted to throw away." He smiled a little and got his lighter out from his blazer, lighting the scented candle. "I still sleep with one of your sweaters because it still feels like your beside me. And I don't want to let that feeling go." He admitted, placing the candle beside the picture frame with her picture in it.

Zayn stared at it, and just seeing that smile she had on her lips made his heart burst with joy. "I sometimes still watch our videos from the trip we had around the world." He used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes.

"It still feels so unreal that you're gone. I mean, I feel like you're still here but yet, you're gone. And I don't know what to do without you." The mans eyes watered once again and he sat down on the soft gras. "I did all the things on your bucket list. All the things you couldn't do but I did them for you. The diner is already a success. You pancakes are selling and it makes me happy. But it's not the same without you. If I could turn back time and go back to the car crash, I would've saved you. I would've made sure you– you still had a chance with our baby."

Zayn looked down and tried his best not to let out a sob, biting his lip hard until he tasted the blood that oozed from his bottom lip. "I wish it was me sometimes." He whispered and rubbed one hand over his face. "I– I wished it was me and not you." His hands were shaking, and his bottom lip was trembling. His chest was aching and his mind kept spinning.

"I'm sorry." He breathed out and more tears started streaming down his tanned cheeks. "You didn't deserve to die. You didn't deserve to be taken away so soon. You still had so much to live for, so many dreams you wanted to fulfill." The twenty-eight year old looked at her picture and sniffled, inhaling a deep breath.

"I know you're with me, and I know you'll be by my side until the day I die. And I honestly can't wait until I'll see your pretty face again." He smiled softly at that and pushed himself up from the gras, taking another shaky breath.

"I love you Liam." Zayn wiped his eyes wet eyes and bit his bottom lip before slowly making his way to the gates that led into the cemetery, glancing at her grave once more.

He tugged his hands into his blazer and made his way to Natasha and Adam that were waiting for him in their car, getting into the backseat. He buckled up and stared out the window as Adam started the engine and drove off without another word.

"You ready?" Natasha asked the man softly and looked at him. "Ready as I'll ever be." The man replied shortly and looked up at the night sky, rolling down his window to watch the stars that were shining bright tonight.