Cowgirl Up 2 (Sequel) ✔️

Chapter Twenty Eight

I had a knot in my stomach that I could almost physically feel, when I directed my Ute into a parking space not too far from the Riverston Church.
This was my first funeral and I had literally almost no idea what to expect.
All I knew about funeral's came from book's I'd read and movies I'd seen.
That showed me that people bawled their eyes out, sad music played and stories of the person's life were told, so that the good memories were imbedded in peoples' brains.
Blayze was sitting in the passenger seat, his third beer stubby in his hand.
I'd tried to encourage him against drinking, particularly because of the high dosage pain killer's he was on.
But he'd reminded me that he'd been to funeral's for his brother and his sister already in his life.
I didn't push any further, knowing I couldn't force him to cope or respond in a particular way.
He's a grown man and his choices are his decisions.
Surely he could read that the painkiller box's clearly said 'don't consume alcohol while on these tablets'.
In the backseat Heath and Shayne were also silent, lost in their own thoughts and the heavy hearted feeling that seemed to be hanging over our entire town.
They'd hitched a ride in with us and Troy had driven the farm Hilux with Alex and Jake in it, following us.
The Church car park was packed.
Park's along the street within walking distance were almost completely full.
The grass lot alongside the church grounds was rapidly filling, my Ute being one to snag one of the last remaining spaces.
I'd been lucky to find somewhere to park the F550 thanks to it's size.
I sat in the driver's seat, the car still running, the Diesel engine purring away gently.
Music was on softly, just as background noise because along the way none of us had spoken more than a few words.
I didn't know what to do next.
We probably had to climb out of the car and head inside.
But I'm no expert an any of this.
And I'm scared.
The unknown always scares me.
A gentle tap of knuckles against my window startled me out of my thoughts.
I turned to look and found Uncle Lukas standing just outside my car.
He jerked his head pointedly towards the open doors of the church, clearly indicating we were supposed to go in.
With a shaky breath, I nodded back at him.
Wordlessly, Heath and Shayne opened the back doors of the Ute and climbed out.
Feeling the lump in my throat seemingly continuously growing, I twisted around to face Blayze.
He looked lost, his eyes almost murky looking as he stared towards the looming stonework of the old church.
"I fucking hate this."
He finally whispered.
My heart literally squeezed for him.
With my eyes brimming with tears, I reached over to hold onto his hand that wasn't holding the beer stubby.
I knew he didn't want to be here.
He'd almost refused to come.
Yet even he'd admitted he needed the closure.
He and Xalan had been friends.
Rodeo brother's.
They'd been in the same accident.
Blayze too had come very close to losing his life.
It could've been him.
"We're here for you."
I promised him, my voice coated by unshed tears.
"I'm here for you."
He tipped the remainder of the stubby's contents into his mouth, then leaned forward to set the empty bottle onto the passenger side floor.
I removed my hand from his and let myself out of the driver's side of my car.
Blayze and I had just rounded the front of my car when I saw Uncle Lukas walking towards us, his expression carefully blank.
Like Blayze, he wasn't completely suited out.
He was wearing dark jeans, along with a black button down shirt, a black jacket and a black Akubra.
He glanced my way, but turned his green gaze to Blayze.
It didn't take a genius to work out he wanted to talk to him.
Blayze and I both stopped walking.
I twisted to face Blayze, lifting my gaze to look up at his tense face.
"I'll meet you in there."
I whispered, my voice refusing to work much louder.
He nodded wordlessly, his blue-green eyes turning to Uncle Lukas.
I stepped around my Uncle, knowing he probably wanted to check on Blayze and I scanned the loitering people for somebody I could actually handle talking to at the moment.
Mum?
Hayley?
Noah?
Grandma?

"My god this hasn't even started and I'm crying."
I jumped in surprise as the choked voice sounded by my ear and a hand gripped my jacket clad arm.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I twisted around to face Noah.
She was dressed in a black skirt and top, with an also black jacket over the top, because it was too cold to be without one.
Her makeup was so far undamaged, but her eyes were shining with unshed tears.
Noah's not usually a crier.
About the only times I've seen her cry is with some of her worst fights with Codie, when she's feared they would end.
Actually she also cried when she was fifteen and Duncan Makings decided to spread around school that they'd slept together, effectively claiming he'd scored Noah's V-card.
Yes she went on a few dates with him, but she'd remained a Virgin until she got with Codie and he'd waited months until she was ready.
Noah had cried.
Then she'd punched Duncan in the face and made his nose bleed.
"It's the hormones."
I told her, slinging my left arm around her shoulders in an effort to comfort her.
"I cried when we got back from Mawson District and Zuke showed me the pile of baby mice he killed while I was away."
My throat felt thick just by the memory.
Apparently my dog had believed he'd done something I would be proud of.
Sniffling but now giggling, Noah wiped at her glassy eyes.
"Okay I'll take your word for it."
She whispered.
I smiled softly.
The mood around here was too somber to be too happy.
My heart felt heavy, yet I really didn't even know Xalan Reynolds all that well.
Noah shook her head, a sad look on her face.
"I didn't even know Xalan that well."
She murmured.
It was like she'd read my mind.
"But just seeing everybody so sad... And I seen Peyton."
A wince-like expression crossed her face.
"I imagined myself in her shoes and the waterworks started!"
I sighed heavily, my heart feeling the weight of everybody's emotions.
"It certainly is a tragedy."
I agreed.
It really was.
Xalan was only twenty-six years old.
He had a girlfriend who adored him and followed him to a whole other Country.
He had a seemingly loving family.
He had a twin brother whom was always at his side.
He had rank in the Rodeo community.
He had a whole life to live.
"You ready?"
We both turned around quickly to find that Blayze and Codie had snuck up on us.
Neither one looked like they wanted to do this, their hands stuffed into their black jacket pockets and their expressions grim.
Plenty of men around here were suited up.
Not our men.
Both wore black button down shirts, black jackets open over ten top and black jeans.
Noah dragged in a deep breath and blinked rapidly, trying to compose herself.
Blayze looked over our heads, towards the open doors of the Church.
"We don't have much time. It's about to start."
He muttered, his voice thick.
I nodded, my throat growing rapidly thicker and uncomfortable.
Codie slipped an arm around Noah's waist and they made their way up the steps towards the door.
I turned to Blayze, waiting for him to make his move.
I wasn't about to go in there alone.
I was scared.
His blue-green eyes were filled with a whirlwind of emotions I could hardly even begin to understand.
But in typical Blayze fashion, he clenched his jaw and grabbed onto my left hand with his right one.
We stepped through the large wooden double doors that were propped open, the smell of age immediately assaulting my nose.
It smelt somewhat like dust and as if the doors and windows had been closed for too long.
Yet I knew they were open at least every Sunday morning for Church services.