It Feels....So Right | Neth Bellins | #Wattys2017

Chapter 22: "You Were My Happiness But I'm Your Misery." - Seth Rollins ♥

Nikki's POV:

I woke up and found myself on a hospital bed. What was I doing here?? I looked around and saw Seth sitting on a chair next to my bed, holding onto my hand, drawing little circles on it with his finger. 

"Seth, stop. You know that tickles me." I said, making him look up at me.   

"Oh, thank god you're up Bella."

"What happened??"

"Paige hit your ribs with a sledgehammer. The doctor said you got three broken ribs so you can't wrestle for a while."

I pressed my lips together, thinking about what he just said. I can't wrestle?? Paige tried to end my career. She already knew how weak I was when John kept beating on me and she tried to make it worse. What will happen if John finds out I'm with Seth?? He's gonna kill me but worst of all, he'll hurt Seth, and I can't let that happen. 

"Nikks, why are you crying??" Seth asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Huh??" I felt my cheeks and realized they were wet. "Umm, it's just that I can't wrestle. Wrestling is my life."

"Nicole, is there something you're not telling me??" he asked, taking me aback for a moment. 

Did he find out?? He only calls me Nicole if he's serious about something.

"I will hurt everyone that you love."

"There's.....there's nothing going on. Why would you ask that??" I practically whispered.

"I know there's something Nicole. Nobody just comes into work with fresh bruises on them every single day." he said.

"If you think about telling anyone, and I mean anyone, your days will be numbered, so will your family's."  

"I keep getting jumped. It's....it's not like I want to have bruises all over me."

"And why have you been avoiding me?? Do you not like me anymore?? I know you're hiding something. Please tell me." he said, cupping my cheek.

"And you have no idea what I will do to Seth if you even think about telling him." 

"There's nothing going on, Seth. I'm alright."

"Nikki, we've been best friends for almost four years. I know everything about you. I know when you're lying too. I just wanna help you. You should know how much I care about you. Please tell me what's going on."

I really wanted to tell him what's going on. I didn't know if I could take the abuse. Maybe Seth can help me. But....can I trust him?? What if he's working with John?? What if he's trying to get the truth out of me so he can tell John I told him everything so he would have an excuse to hit me?? Seth already knows something's up but I can't tell him.

"I-I'm sorry Seth. I c-can't tell you." 

"Why not?? I-I'm your best friend, aren't I?? Why can't you tell me?? Don't you trust me??"

I really wanted to trust him. I wanted to trust the person I love so deeply but I couldn't.  

"N-no. I can't." I whispered, which felt like a stab to the heart. 

Seth's POV:

"N-no. I can't." 

I felt my heart crumble away. Like when you rake up a bunch of leaves only to have them blown all over the place by the wind. I've known Nikki for four years and she says she can't trust me. I spent almost every moment within the past four years with her and she says she can't trust me.

I got up, not looking back, and made my way to the door. 

"No, Seth wait. I...I didn't mean it like that." I heard Nikki say. 

"You said what you needed to say. I just can't believe that's how you feel. I can't believe my best friend, the most important person in my life, can't trust me. I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. We can't really be best friends if you can't trust me. I thought our friendship actually meant something....but I guess only I thought that. I put everything I had into our friendship and I know that I treated you a whole lot better than John does. I was the one who could cheer you up. I was the one who made you feel important because you are. I was the one who kept going on and on about how beautiful you are because you are. I told you that my happiness lies in you because it does. All I did was be honest with you. The only thing I did wrong was snap at you one time, just one time because I was still heartbroken about Leighla. I did everything I could to keep you happy because it hurt me deeply to see you upset. To be honest, you were always right at the top of my list of people. You were always the most important person to me. And do you know why?? Because I love you Nicole. I fucking love you. I love you so much, everywhere I turn, I see you. Do you know how guilty I feel though?? I don't want to love you because you love John and I didn't want to destroy our friendship but it's already ruined now. I tried so hard to make these feelings go, but every time I saw you, I lost control. I couldn't handle how beautiful you were. I couldn't handle your amazing personality. I couldn't handle seeing you hurt. You were my everything Nicole. You made me happy. You were my happiness but I'm your misery. I tried to convince myself that I didn't love you but it didn't work. Every time I see you, I fall in love with you over and over again. Every atom in my body craves you and the worst thing is you can't trust me.....and that's fine. I don't give a fuck anymore because I don't have anything to do with you anymore. From now on, we're just strangers. Or if we're lucky, co-workers because there is no way I will ever work or talk to you again. I love you so damn much but just remember, you shattered my heart and I'll never forgive you for that." I didn't realize that there were rivers leaving my eyes. 

I poured my heart out to Nikki and although it felt great, I could still feel the pain that she caused. I hated to have to separate myself from her but she doesn't trust me. How can we be friends if she doesn't trust me?? Our four years of friendship meant absolutely nothing to her when it meant the world to me.

I didn't even look at Nikki as I opened the door and left the room, letting my tears fall. 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥   

A/N: Damn, Seth made me emotional. He finally poured his heart out. What did you think??

Don't forget to vote and comment.