It Feels....So Right | Neth Bellins | #Wattys2017

Chapter 30: "I've Lost Everything Brie. Everything." - Nikki Bella ♥

A few days later.....

Nikki's POV:

It was time for Brie and I to leave for Mom and Dad's funeral. Brie keeps saying that I'm not acting how I used to. I'm not sleeping right, I'm not eating at all, I've been extremely quiet, and I feel worthless and hopeless. 

Brie thinks I've fallen into a depression but I really don't think so. Just because I feel like killing myself, doesn't mean I'm depressed, right??

Brie's POV:

I was really worried about Nikki. I know she's fallen into a depression but she won't admit it. I didn't think the whole situation would affect her this badly.

Brie's Outfit

Nikki's Outfit

When we got off the plane, Nikki and I went straight to the church for the burial. Since it was Sunday, we had to leave straight after the funeral for Raw the next day.

"Nikki?? Brie??" We both turned around and saw JJ. 

We both gave him hugs. I missed my little brother. We barely got to see each other. 

"How have you been??" I asked him.

"Okay, I guess, what about you guys??"

"I've been okay. Nikki's been...alright."

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10 minutes later.....

Everyone was by the graves, watching as my parents' coffins were being buried. I looked at Nikki, who's face was completely blank as she watched. She showed no emotions at all. I couldn't tell if she was sad or not. I was hurt at the fact that my sister was suffering on her own. I wanted her to stop pushing us away and let us help her. 

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After the burial, we had to say bye to JJ. I was upset that we had to leave him but our jobs were really important and we couldn't miss them. When we got on the plane, both of us hadn't said a word. 

After the plane journey, we went back to our hotel. Nikki still hadn't said a word. Since we left to go to the funeral to now. I was really worried now. 

"Nikki, is everything okay??" I asked.

She nodded and left to go to the bathroom.

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Nikki's POV:

I felt physically and emotionally drained. I was starting to wonder what the point was of still being alive. I didn't want to be alive anymore. I just wanted to die. I couldn't take living my crappy life anymore. I have no-one. I have nothing. My ribs have stopped me from wrestling. I've lost everyone. I've lost my best friend, my boyfriend, my parents, god knows who's next?? 

I decided enough was enough. During the plane ride and funeral, all I kept thinking about was why I was still alive. At least when I'm dead, I'd be at peace. 

I came out of the bathroom and went straight to the kitchen. I went through the drawers until I found the sharpest knife there was. I stared at it for a few minutes. 

Is this what I really want to do?? Is this what my life has come to?? Is this blade going to decide whether I live or die??

I hid the knife behind my back and snuck back to the bathroom. I looked back at the knife in my hand. I could feel my tears start to fall. These were my last few moments alive. 

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Brie. I quickly hid the knife behind my back.

"Nikki?? Oh, sorry, I needed to use the bathroom."

"Urr, yeah." I said, my voice cracking since I hadn't talked for hours.

"What's behind your back??"

"N-nothing."

"Nikki?? What have you got??"

"I said I h-have nothing."

She grabbed my arm, trying to pull my hand out and I tried my best to keep it behind my back but failed. Brie pulled my hand out which held the knife.

"N-nikki?? Why are you holding...that??"

I said nothing. I just stared at the knife.

"Nikki?? Say something. Why do you have a knife?? You weren't going to do what I think you were going to do, were you??"

"You know what Brie?? I was. I was going to kill myself because I can't do it anymore. I can't live this life anymore. I've lost everything Brie. Everything. I've basically lost my job. I can't even wrestle anymore. I lost my parents. The people who I loved the most. The people who stood by me but maybe they didn't give a fuck about me like John doesn't. Maybe that's why he abuses me. Because I'm not good enough like I'm not good enough for you or Bryan or Seth. Seth hates me and I can't live knowing that. Do you know who Seth is to me?? He's the love of my life Brie!!! I fucking love him and he told me he loves me back but I broke his heart and now he hates me. Lets just face it. I'm not destined to be happy. Maybe fate is telling me to give up and that's exactly what I'm doing. I just need to say one thing though. Just tell him that I love him. Tell him...I love him so much that I'm giving up my life so he can be happy because....I can't see him hurt because of me. It's a win win situation. I get to be free from everything. Seth can be happy. Just tell Seth that....I love him."

Those were the last words that came out of my mouth before I felt the cold blade pierce through my skin under my ribs and I fell to the ground.

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A/N: What on earth have I typed?? Nikki told Brie what's been going on but SHE STABBED HERSELF?? What will happen to Seth if he finds out??

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