Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

I.D. Channel

7/10/17


Let me tell you how obsessed I've been with crime TV. I LOVE me a show about somebody that has been murked, and I actually get annoyed when someone DOESN'T die. Isn't that trash of me? Like, I'm usually happy that the surviving victim is alive and didn't die, but also, when it's a  show called "Fatal Vows" or something and some lady survives their man's attempt to kill them, I'm like "okay but no one died so nothing fatal took place which means this show is false advertisement and i don't like being tricked" lol.

My obsession with crime/murder drama shows started back in the 7th grade, right when I first got put onto the First 48 by my aunt. From then on til right before I went to college, a nigga was in her bed ready for a new episode on Thursday at 9. Matter of fact, I think it switched DAYS for a couple years. I can watch an episode today and realize I saw this one in 2009 and I can tell you who did it, why, and the man who narrates, says "Louisville" weirdly. I LOVE IT!!! Lew-uh-vul. Honestly, why the fuck is it not just pronounced "Louis-ville"? I'm so sick of silent letters lol.

But anyways, back to the ID channel. This is murder-doc TV ALL THE TIME. My mama and sister get sick of me 'cause all I do is make them watch it with me. When I'm with them, I don't talk to my TV.

But, I had a whole conversation with myself about this bitch ass nigga that was on Scorned: Love Kills today. Ooh, let's give them fake names. Fake names are fun.

We'll call the husband Derek and the wife Lily. And if you know this show, you KNOW there was a mistress or two. We'll call the younger one Maddie 'cause that bitch WAS MAD AF and we'll call the older one.......... Beatrice. I think there were more but the show only focused on Derek, Lily, Maddie, and Beatrice.

So, first of all, the show kind of ruins who dies because they usually have the family of the victim on the show. I wanna tell y'all the story without ruining it right away, but they had a family member show up and narrate what happened basically.

So, Derek and Lily are both Mormons. Lily believes she can see the future and stuff and was REALLY devout. Derek ain't give a fuck as much as Lily did. Anyway, Lily had a vision that Derek was cheating on her. I mean it made sense. They had their own business and were making a lil change, which I'm sure helped Derek get all the hoes. Anyway, bitch, Lily was NOT finna play with him. Without any actual proof, Lily filed for divorce on that ass. And guess what?! She was gon' let him have ALL THE CHANGE!! SHE AIN'T EVEN WANT SHIT FROM HIM!!!!!!!! Whew, she's better than me, but hey, she got away. So, remember I told you they're Mormon. I guess in that faith, EVERYBODY is all in yo' business and they hold court to punish you if you do things that are not seen as correct in their faith. Errbody was mad at Lily for filing for divorce bc she didn't have proof her man was cheating. But as far as I can remember, the show didn't say she got in trouble for anything. But Derek was excommunicated from the church, I guess cuz he was the one who cheated. I can't remember if he slept with Maddie before or after he got excommunicated from the church, but that's where the introduced her into the mix. She was a secretary at his business that was now probably bound to suffer, cuz he mainly sold his stuff to Mormons (health pills) and most of his staff were Mormons. Nigga, they can't be out here publicly supporting someone who has been excommunicated from their religion! THEY'LL be shunned too. They ain't finna get shunned for his bum ass FOH.

Maddie was like 19 and Derek's prolly like 37 or something. These hoes first started their "affair" before the divorce was final but after Lily broke it off with Derek. He and Maddie were dating for a lil bit but guess what happened?! We found out that there was another bitch on the side from when Lily and Derek were married!! Lily was right, girl!! And guess who it was?! Beatrice! Beatrice had found out that Derek was fuckin' with Maddie, and she goes into his crib like "who TF is this?!". He tried to lie at first but then he was like "that's my other piece, Maddie." So Beatrice was like "i'm over this. bye" and then called up Lily! And Lily's like "see, I knew I wasn't crazy!" So then, Beatrice and Lily get him to come to the crib, and they both were like "admit that you cheated so you can repent your sins". I told you, Lily is real into her faith, and still wanted the best for this fucknigga, even though he did her dirty. She didn't even ask for this MF to come back to her. Anyway, somewhere along the line, he asks to get back together with Lily, even though he was still messing with Maddie.

First of all, that pissed me off, because I knew immediately she was the one that was gon' die, 'cause that shit ALWAYS happens. A woman manages to get away from her trash ass husband, somehow he gets her back, and then he kills her once she figures out he hasn't changed! TUH-RASH!!!!

Not to mention, it was HER daughter that was on the show, kinda narrating what happened with her mama and Derek.

After that, I was over this whole story. I kept watching though.

Anyway, what happened was they reconciled and Maddie was pressed. Lily told Derek not to fuck with Maddie anymore but do you REALLY think he complied? C'mon, son. Nah. Anyway, this time, Derek came clean but this time, Lily was NAWT PLAYIN with him. So, I think the show said she was gonna file for divorce again, but was actually gonna try and get some change from this time. Which, tbh, she should've done it the first time but he probably would have killed her then.

What pissed me off the most is that he only got back with Lily probably to repair his image in the community, when he was free and clear to go be with Maddie. He didn't get back with her because he loved her! He CHOSE to be a horrible husband, AGAIN. They mentioned that there was a life insurance policy that he was after. But these niggas were already making good money. You could have just stayed separate from her and you would have been fine. Maybe your company would take a little hit, but it wouldn't have been that drastic to where you would have had to kill your wife, girl. She took his dumbass back, just for him to kill her for a lil extra change on top of the good change he was already getting from his company. Fucking greedy pig.
Now if this gf of his was also involved in the active planning of Lily's murder, what in the hell did she think she would gain from him? True, HER financial situation would have improved, but he would kill her ass as soon as he found a new toy to play with. Why don't women get that through their fucking skulls?? Men, too! Why do y'all feel like your married bae can kill one person, and not kill YOUR ass?! Then you shocked when they plot on your ass when they're tired of you three years later. FOMF.

Anyway, back to the story.

So Lily finally died when she took these pills he tampered with, passed out, and then he put her in the tub to drown. She woke up and tried to get his ass but she couldn't stop him. And THENNN bitch, they told us about a time where he and Lily went on another honeymoon and she fell off a cliff. That MF pushed her, I KNOW he did smh.

Anyway, Lily wrote in a journal and I guess said she was suicidal so at trial, Derek's lawyers were like "she killed herself, look at what she wrote when her husband was being a trash human being and making her feel bad about herself" lol. So he got five years on manslaughter. BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! 5!!! If I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time, I could be charged with some  bullshit that I personally had no part in and still get more time than a MF who constantly conspired to kill his wife, and ACTUALLY had a hand in doing so. FOH with that BS.

They JUST ended another episode with another motherfucker killing his PREG-UH-NANT wife for some chick he just met at his job. Amazing.

I know women can also be trash, but let's just celebrate the fact that I'm not into men. Whew. I ain't blind, there will always be fine niggas everywhere, but sexually? Nothing is there. PLUS niggas are known to get possessive after they get you in the bed. Honestly, it's a worldwide-cross-gender wise problem. See, this why I'm finna be by myself with my dog and cat. I ain't tryna give up this thang and wind up with a possessive joint. Cuz then she gon be annoying, and then ruin my life forever ctfu.

Okay I'm done ranting.

Bye :)