Hey, girl. Let's get right into it.
For whatever reason, I had another "wet dream". Not that anything REALLY got to pop off 😂. Okay so what had happened was, I was randomly out with some girls— one of my internet friends who I'll name Tia and a real life coworker who I'll name Nat. We were on the streets of wherever the hell and we were talking about going to meet a group of people. I suppose they were talking about boys and I was just gonna go along with it because apparently I wasn't out to them. The funny part is Tia is a lesbian too so how were we talking about going to meet some damn boys? 😂 Anyway, we walked around for awhile trying to find some to come hang out, when finally I was like "I'm finna go find some girls" and walked smooth off like I didn't just come out 😂. Nat was like, "what? girls?" and i was like "yeah." I was almost like, "y'all want one?" but I didn't cuz they were straight lmfao. Anyway I guess I found a girl. So fast forward to me being in the room on the floor talking to this stud, I guess. She looks like one of these popular studs on twitter. She had this fade and pretty eyes and lips. And she was light skinned too. Not that it gets her extra points, it's just how she looks. Anyway we're leaning against a couch or something and she was saying stuff but for me it was a bit muffled. It sounded like she said, "why are you flirting so hard with me?" and i was like "whatttt? flirting?" cuz I genuinely didn't think I had said anything flirtatious because I never flirt at all lmao. but now that she had said that I felt hot and bothered so I looked her dead in the mouth but I was still denying it lmfao. Anyway I don't know how I convinced her to come on and let me get it but at some point she leaned down and let me do it. She tasted like a plastic casing. You know those little plastic, yet soft casings that come when you buy costumes? Exactly like that. I knew that it wasn't supposed to be like that but dream me was like "fuck it" and kept going 😂😂😂😂. I feel her reacting, so I'm like "cool", and start to really get into it and all of a sudden she's like "I recently had an abortion" all quick and pushes me clean off of her. LMAOOO I was so confused. I wasn't even mad, I had that same dumb ass look on my face as earlier. I was like "what?" and trying to process what was getting on. it wasn't until then that the room cleared and I realized that other people were in the room lmfao. I was amazed at myself like "you got other people in the room while you're getting some?" because real life me is NEVER down for that shit lmao. anyway when they heard her say it they were disgusted lmao and marched straight out. It ended with some girl saying something but I can't remember. I remember waking up forreal and realizing immediately what happened while I was sleeping. Remember how I told y'all I listen to podcasts or something EVERY night while I sleep, loud and clear? WELP for the past couple months I've been binging comedy albums. A recent fave is Hannibal Buress. He has a bit in one of his specials where he mentions a lady trying to hook up with him mentioning she recently had an abortion. And so that was playing and influenced a lot of what was said lmfaooooo. And that is the story of how Hannibal Buress ruined my wet dream. 😂
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Memoirs of a Broke B*tch
Humorhere's me whining about sh*t I can probably change, but won't cuz it's more fun to write about it.
