Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

DID I JUST... THROW A PARTY?? (HELLA LONG STORY)

Prior to October 20th, 2017, if you would have asked me if I would ever throw a party, I'd be like FUCK no. But then I did. On accident. Here's how it happened.

First, my roomie and some of her friends (cuz I ain't got none, lmao) were supposed to play Cards Against Humanity. Before we discuss that I gotta kinda get my feelings out about how the invitation came about. I could possibly be wrong about this because i overthink EVERYTHING lmao. It doesn't matter how big or small, I overthink it.. I told y'all how I'm basically elusive like Mariah Carey, right? I make it a point to stay in my room, and when I'm not there I'm usually on campus somewhere doing something by myself. For whatever reason, no one seems to believe me when I say I genuinely like that lifestyle. See, bitch, that's a lifestyle-- not living your life as an LGBT person. I almost feel like my roomie felt bad for me because at this point she done had the whole campus in our room, and I still have yet to bring a friend back. Generally, while she is entertaining her friends, I don't say anything except for "hi". Half the time these niggas are so excited to be in her presence, no one is pressed on who else is in the room 😂. I'm laughing internally but I'm also lowkey over the fact that some people still have yet to learn that you should speak to the owner of the room. I don't understand how one can come through the room, see clearly that I am on top of a bed---which is most likely mine--- which would mean the room is also mine--- and look at me like idiots or not say anything at all. But then, on the other hand, I hate when they do it because it seems fake. It seems like they do it to please my roommate and not because they truly WANT to announce themselves. I can't make up my mind about that. I'm probably most irritated that they're in my room at all, mainly because I feel like they're sizing me up in my own room. Like, the last place I want to feel uncomfortable in is my fucking room. Anywhere else, cool, whatever--my room?? I hate that with a passion! Back to the story.

So, she invites me out with her buds for a night of Cards. I partially said "yes" because I keep declining her efforts to get me outside of the room, and partially because I was fucking bored of being in here. I knew I could use some social interaction. It's funny because by Friday I was over it again. Anyway, we were supposed to meet her besties at 9. Cool. Welp, my roommate was out like a light at around 8:30. She winds up oversleeping until like 9:30. We found out that literally no one was ready lol. So then the conversation turned to them hanging out in our room. Well, they were not gonna do that shit sober, so we all took a trip to the local bodega. We're in D.C. So I'm not really sure if we can call it a bodega but they had an abundance of drinks in there. Um, I felt really young because I have yet to consume alcohol. I'm gonna be 23 soon and here my ass is, shook by having a bottle of alcohol in my hand. Not shook like scared, but shook like surprised at MYSELF. Like that was the first time I was around alcohol without my mama 😂. Anyway, these niggas bought Fireball. If you don't know it's a drink with cinnamon. Cinnamon is the bane of my existence, so if I were to want to try alcohol, it wasn't gonna be that day. Who the fuck puts cinnamon in a drink? Y'all weird.

Anyway, girl, I'd just like to note one thing about my roomie's friends (at least the ones I took the trek to the store with). I'm gonna give them fake names because mystery is sexy AF. Well call the one I thought was awesome, Ray. We'll call the one that I thought a little bit less of, Jay. Alright, both of these guys were flamboyantly gay. Before the store run, they came to our room to "pick us up", I guess. They were talking about penis and Jesus. Immediately, I was glad I decided to go with them because I knew I'd be entertained. We went to Jay's room. And girl, guess what he had pictures of? Jefree Damn Star. That's when I realized WHY he wasn't too pressed on me ('cause he made NO attempt to try to know me lmao even though I was gonna be joining them). I'm not gonna call him racist, but he is definitely racially insensitive. I kind of made that assumption because of his praise for Jefree Star. He had like all his pallets and has a wall full of Jefree and Kylie pictures. Then he sat there and confirmed my thoughts when his friend Ray was like "Jefree is trash and a racist". Jay goes "oh my gosh, no he's not, he's changed. I forgive him." And yes, he is Caucasian, Mhm. I was not gonna argue with him because I don't give my energy to things that are not important to me. Also, I was never gonna change his mind. Then Ray and Jay kind into a bit of a spat because Ray likes Kay Von D and those people had a public beef. So they were telling the other why their person is trash. ENTERTAINING.

Okay, so we get back from the store and we're all in my room, playing the game. Right away, they were drinking. We only got through a couple rounds before my roomie was tipsy. Right away, I knew I would not be a big fan of her once alcohol came into the mix. First off, she was messing up the game, lol. Everything was going good until she completely stopped to text more people to come over. So now everyone is on their phone calling the homies.

Here's what kind of further solidified the "pity" invite theory for me. She says her old roomie hit her up and she felt bad for her so she invited her over. Some people opposed because she supposedly is real maternal and likes to tell people what to do and etc.  As soon as she stepped in the room, though, no one mentioned any of this to her. We carried on with our "kickback". That part was fun because I was sitting next to Ray and he was hilarious. We were blasting music. My only gripe with him was he made me listen to three Taylor Swift songs in a row. He was my favorite guest. Anyway, people were too tipsy to play or to want to play, and we dropped the game completely. So then they all called their homies and soon our room turned into a hangout spot. Music was blasting and we had lights, liquor and food! It was now a party, bitch!! I didn't like that as much but I was still okay. I think I need to be in company of people I know to enjoy stuff like that. Also, I know I will live in my own house one day in a dark room with lights everywhere and music blasting, probably drinking alcohol. I think that's a great way to host a get together of friends. Anyway, I know living on my own will be a fucking blast.

The party in my room was over by 2 AM, and they went to another party. I wanted to lay my ass down because I had enough action for one day, shit. They left the room a damn mess so I cleaned it and showered. Anyway, here's some actual current tea, bitch.

After the party, I texted my friends-- some from back home and some of my internet friends, and told them about the party. I wasn't quite tired so I asked my roomie what the app was for her stereo thing so I could connect it to bluetooth. Well, girl.....

It seems that I had forgotten to actually LOOK at who the hell I was texting because I accidentally texted my roommate something that wasn't intended for her. I guess, in a way, I was kind of telling her business. Like it was not a big secret, and even if it was, I didn't send it to anyone on campus. See, what had happened was, in the midst of me thinking I was updating my friend on what's been happening to me at school, I recounted finding her boyfriend (or whatever he is, Jesus) asleep in her bed one time, and being shocked that he was there. Then that week, the beginning of the week, she had let him come over two more times and I was completely uncomfortable with that. Actually I was confused as to why she would do that. I get that feelings happen but with all this stuff she's been spouting about celibacy and all that, one would think you would NOT be sleeping with/beside him at night. I mean, I don't know HOW she thinks sex happens. It's not planned all the time. People who like each other get starry eyes and fuzzy feelings and sensations, girl. Last thing I needed was for them to show any kind of intimacy or PDA. I never know why people don't like to keep that behind closed doors. And I guess that would count as closed doors but there's no dividers in here for me to ignore that, ma'am. I guess I could turn the other cheek, but that doesn't shake the uneasiness. Anyway, yeah, so I told my friend that I told my roommate that I didn't like that (which she took with ease). I just knew she was gonna have SOMETHING to say about it, but nah she was like "aight".
Idk, I just feel like I wouldn't do that to her, because that is AWKWARD!!! So I don't get why she did that to me, but whatever. She stopped and I'm happy about that. Now, the way in which I said that in my friend's text COULD be perceived as like, shade, even though it wasn't. It was just the truth. Nothing negative, but maybe she thought I was telling her business, even though my friend has literally no idea who she is. So for the last couple days I've been unsure if she's mad about that or not. We get into these quiet spells. Like today, we didn't talk at all. But also I'm really petty. Like maybe it was just a coincidence that we didn't speak today but I feel like when she doesn't make any attempt to communicate with me, I'm silent too, bitch. Not that I think she's a bitch or anything but everything is a bitch. She doesn't like to be called that and I don't really get it but WHO ARE ME TO JUDGE?? WHO. ARE. ME??

lol, this past weekend was hella
interesting.