Hey, girl, what's going on? Y'all okay? I know we're all out here stuck in the house and stuff. Hopefully y'all staying safe and away from this virus, girl. What's killing me is how many people swear they've had it already. Bless y'all cuz I shole didn't experience any real sickness, but it's been like this for years. Outside of the usual muscle ache and headache, I'm usually cool on the sick front, even though I was completely out of the game for like two whole weeks a few years ago 😂.
Anyway, these past couple weeks (before the 'rona) I had been neglecting my work just to get back into writing, finally. So after two literal years, I rewrote Micki Wall and added hella more chapters. First of all, when I went through it again I hated how I wrote it so I put my more mature spin on it. Anyway, I found myself being able to create more chapters because I literally put myself in their shoes. And in doing that, I've realized I'm LONELYYYYY I'M MR. LONELYYYYY I HAVE NOBODYYYYY TO CALL MY OWNNN *stifles sob*
No, but seriously. Writing about Micki and Chez made me want some kind of partnership. I'm not big on feelings, but I'm thinking it wouldn't be the worst to feel something other than laughter and apathy. We can throw a lil love in there. Just a lil' bit. Seriously, being quarantined sounds way more fun with a bae. Anyway, so I tried these little dating apps. News flash, they're all horrid but I found that I like HER best. It's not 'cause I was just talking to ERRBODY and getting all the hoes, but I did have some fire friendly conversations with people. News flash don't go on these sites looking for friends cuz it's not gon happen for you, swurrtagawd.
First of all, I'm horrified to swipe right/match with anybody. I'll be goddamned if I swipe right on these folks and they hit "nah". Absolutely not, girl! I feel fine about my looks and pictures and whatever (which is crazy as hell because once upon a time I did not lmao) but still. Middle school me still lives on in the suddenly slaying shell of mine so.... I feel like... I'm adorable so somebody should love me. Hellooooo, I write public diary entries and write stories about how other people behave when they're in love. I'm perf ❤️.
But then I'm like, well at least I'm not in a horrible relationship. Like... there is a good side to this, I guess lol.
Forreal though, these apps are ass! First of all, I'm always shook when people swipe right on me but then like... you gotta pay to see WHO. And bitch, for black women that like black women, it's HORRIBLE OUT HERE!!! God bless us because.... it's a fucking fool. Give me an app for gay black women, white Jesus!! Please!! 😂
Anyway, so here's my ideal scenario in meeting a woman:
-somebody hollering at me on campus
-someone meeting me online, falling in love with me, and then we figure out we go to the same school and then we meet and fall in love like Ameriie wants us to
-meeting me on one of these apps, messaging me, fall in love with me through conversation, find out we go to the same school, meet with me and then fall in love like Ameriie meant for us too. Yes, I said the same ending twice 'cause it's beautiful.
As lonely (I use it loosely cuz I love being alone I just want the connection of a partner) as I am, I'm not too pressed on it solely because I'm not quite where I wanna be yet in life. So when I finish grad school and get into my career that's when I'll REALLY turn the stove up on these niggas and find the queen of my dreams 😬.
I know I'm mentioning meeting people on campus but low key I don't even be looking at these folks. Girl I swear I'm gon wind up on To Catch A Predator if I look for more than 5 seconds. Bitch I ain't playing with these goddamn kids. I swear to god everybody is 19 and I have ZERO time, girl. CERO (a lil español for you hoes)!😂
As much as I kind of clown interracial relationships, I wouldn't be against being in one. Now of course the furthest I'm straying away from 100% black is like.... getting with a woman who is mixed with Black and Latina, but like, a stud lmfao.
REAL question: is a "stem" and a stud being together considered a stud on stud relationship? hmm.. 🤔
YOU ARE READING
Memoirs of a Broke B*tch
Humorhere's me whining about sh*t I can probably change, but won't cuz it's more fun to write about it.
