Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

First Time Learning Things

I don't know why the hell I still have these memories of the first time  I learned things. They happened so long ago and I can't even remember what assignments are due on which day. Yet I can remember the first time I learned what "coincide" means, and what 1x1 is.

Let's start with the last bit I mentioned. 'K, so I was in first grade, I think. I was in a group full of kids who all needed hearing aids. We were a special group, and most of the day, we were with each other, but we did break off into the mainstream classroom as well. That doesn't really have shit to do with the story, but I just wanted to let you know I learned this from a boy in the class. Anyway, we were at lunch, standing in line. I think he was bothering me and whatever, we were being annoying first grades, arguing about random stuff. So, then he's like 1x1 is 1. And I'm like "no, it's not!" So then we argue about that for a couple seconds. Then the teacher walks up. And he taps her on the shoulder. He said, and I quote, "Ain't 1x1, 1?" And the teacher goes "Yes." So, that's how I learned my first multiplication fact.

In second grade, I learned how to write money in a dollars and cents formula. You know, $1.25. We had already learned how to count money. You know those random ass worksheets with the random assortment of coins, that made you put down how much there was. Well, the teacher was like "there's more than one way to write it." Young me is intrigued, bitch! I was becoming enlightened. I can't remember what amount of money she wanted us to write, but I believe it was 25 cents. Anyway, everyone knew that you used the cent sign. I think she said we could write it out as well, like 25 CENTS. I think. But here's when I learned something new. So, the teacher was asking for volunteers. And when we got to the last one, there was this girl just BEGGING for the teacher to pick her. I mean, yelling, jumping out of her seat, saying "ooh! I know!" So, before the girl goes into excitement overload, the teacher picks her to come up and write on the board. This girl was SO excited, she took the chalk and wrote the answer BIG AS FUCK on the board. I think it was like, blue, or something, but this was back in the CHALKBOARD days. This board was looming over this small child, and she started from damn near the top of the board, and wrote the answer. I know it was bigger than me, and her, probably. Anyway, she wrote $0.25 (or whatever amount the teacher asked her to write). I remember looking at her like she was crazy because she was only a second away from foaming out of her mouth, lol. 

I can't remember when I first watched White Chicks, but that is where I learned the word "coincide". Remember when Marcus and Kevin were waiting to pick up the twins, and Marcus was reading the briefing about the Vandergelds. He uses the word "coincide" and I used context clues from what he said,  and figured it out in that context. Don't ask me about that bullshit today, though. I doubt words and their meanings ALL THE TIME. I stay on dictionary.com trying to see if words mean what they think I mean. Usually, I'm cool, so. But EVERYTIME I watch White Chicks, I remember that moment. Also, bitch, did y'all catch on to the way Marcus (in drag) was listening to Karen whining about Heath and how men don't pay any attention to women? GIRL! You catch so many things when you rewatch childhood movies, lol.