Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

Issa Long One ;)

2/28/17

Well, bitch, I've decided to start documenting my dreams. Y'all just gon' get all (or however much I remember) the details and this is gon' get weird, maybe even scurry, and there are some days where the Lord is like "girl, I GUESS you deserve a wet dream once or twice a month" lol.

Now what kind of dream did I have yesterday (today, really, cuz I didn't go to sleep until 4 AM)?

If you've guessed a wet dream, you're right!

Now, see, if it were an actual real life occurence, I'd keep it to myself.

But it didn't, so technically I'm not kissing and telling. Right?

The lady involved probably won't find this because I don't think she reads teenybopper drama books (i have like 3, go read em), which is basically 90% of Wattpad.

If she does, I'm sorry lol. I ain't ask for it, ma'am!

*this ain't like one of the scenes I write in my stories where it's damn near erotica, I'm literally telling you what happened, and my thoughts lol*

Okay, I didn't realize this until after I woke up, but I think this bitch had a fetish for my ear.

My ears are small, like I've said before; one is "open" and the other is "shut".

I have both of them pierced several times; not to cover it up or hide it; but because I thought piercings looked cool.

I lowkey think mine slay even harder BECAUSE a bunch of people with my "condition" do not pierce them, let alone more than once.

I don't remember her touching anything else but my ear even though we're both butt ass nekkid. I remember her kissing on my neck, you know how that goes.

First of all, I was shocked the whole time because I was literally like "what?" because in real life, this wouldn't happen. I'll explain later.

Then she starts like licking it, sucking on it. I think she even gave me a wet willy, lowkey because I remember the inside of my ear feeling wet.

Now, I had earrings on for sure, but I can't remember if I put them in all 3 holes (my ear is pierced 4 times on my open ear [3 lobe piercings and 1 conch piercing], and twice on my left).

I KNOW my conch piercing was in for sure cuz I've never been able to take it out lmao.

I clean it often, but I've never been able to take it out myself.

I lowkey think that was her favorite. Don't know why.

I didn't even MIND the wet willy, Lord. I can't believe you're tryna make me nasty, Jesus. I'm tryna get wit you when I die but YOU made me like this.

IT GETS WORSE.

You know how people put on tassels on their nipples and then there's something that makes it shock you?

I think she put that on my ear and out of nowhere, she shocked the shit out of me. I heard my earrings clacking together, and I yelped.

But you know what happened?

I didn't dare let her know it hurt.

I was literally like "my mama ain't raise no punk."

Obviously I cradled my ear, but I was lowkey chuckling, even though I was in pain lol.

So I know for a fact, the me in that dream was just gon roll with whatever other shit she had planned for me lol.

Then I woke up.

I be watching uh, videos, where the girl is clearly in pain but she just keeps going with it. So I was like "why don't they just stop?! you don't have to be in pain!"

She's doing it to prove something, she is game for ANYTHING short of death lol.

Even if she herself wasn't feeling all that great, she found pleasure in the fact that the partner was enjoying it.

She's being a "good sport".

I was being a "good sport" lmao.

Okay, let's go over why this wouldn't happen in real life.

Now, I know sometimes we lose our inhibitions and preferences and stuff.

According to her, she likes hyperfeminine women.

Nails, High Heels, Makeup, not sure of her hair preferences, but she probably isn't into dreads.

I haven't had my nails done since the 9th grade Snowball Dance thing (in which I hid in the bathroom and outside for two hours for.) I HATED THE WHOLE THING LAWD.

High Heels? What? Nah. I stay in sneakers. Or FlipFlops. I'll try to walk in heels for giggles.

Makeup? Um, I got like.... Lip Balm. Um, I tweeze my eyebrows but #DASSIT. Only thing that be on my face is soap, water, and baby lotion.

I'm lowkey a stem, I keep saying that. Now, if we're going off aura-wise, it's possible that whole thing could've gone down. I CAN get dominant, but it's usually when I can spot someone who is kind of meek.

Like, I'm "shy", but if I were to be put in a group with other "shy" people, I'm usually the one to get things started in order to stop wasting time.

It's kind of conditional. There's not a situation where I'm "meek" and I stay that way the whole time.

Maybe if I'm in class or something and there's a huge group discussion, I usually stay quiet, but I talk if I must.

But I'm just quiet in nature anyways.

I'd be great for any type of girl EXCEPT one that is dominant all the time. Those people probably don't like any other dominant personalities in their romantic partners

but for me it pops out quite often.

another reason i knew it wouldn't happen in real life is because you're not about to shock me

Lol. Bye.

Catch y'all in my business next time!

PEEEEACE.