Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

HI, HOES!!!

hi, girl. what's up? today I feel like talking. so there's gonna be a series of posts. maybe.

here's an agenda of what i'm thinking about rn. not sure if i'm gonna actually write about all of them right now because my writing moods have been short and spontaneous.

1. sick for damn near a week

2. passed all my classes

3. delayed graduation sadness

4. not understanding how people can say they're not attracted to black women

5. stud on stud "flicks"

6. fine people i follow

7. what makes someone fine to me

8. plans for the future.

1) Let's just talk about Friday, May 4th real quick. So, that morning my aunt came to school to take all my belongings back home. I didn't go back with her because I had to take my PRAXIS. I go to school in DC, so I had to slide to Howard U to take it. Off rip, I remembered that I had forgotten to take my bag of tampons out of the drawer. So, for five whole minutes, I was contemplating on what I was going to do with these tampons, b/c I certainly wasn't going off of campus with them. So I gave them to my roommate. I texted her and asked if she wanted them and she said yes lmfao. Then, I checked out of my room with only four things--an empty water bottle, my praxis book, my wallet, and my lanyard. Later on I bought a bag and some chapstick so I'd have somewhere to put my stuff. Then, once I called the Uber, my adventure began. I slide to Howard's campus (I had been there only once before, years earlier and probably on the opposite side lol) and ask students where the student resource center was........ nobody knew. How, Sway? I feel like that is where all of the standardized testing went down, so I was confuzzled. Anyway, someone directed me to the help office and told me the directions... but the problem here was...... i did not remember what he said past the first few directions. so, after a good six or seven minutes of me walking down the wrong way, I (turned on Maps and) slid back and then went to the street of where the actual office was. However, I did not find my way in there until way later. I walked past it a few times, I think-- probably circling the same area a few times.

 My test was scheduled for 11:30......... 11:45, the proctor calls me like "hey, girl....... where you at?" and i'm like "outside, tryna find my way". so, he gives me directions. bitch, wouldn't you know, it was a lil hole in the wall office? it was near the area i was circling lmao. why doesn't anyone warn you about these things??? anyway, by the time i get there, my phone was on 9% lol. I get in there and gotta sign in and blah blah blah. tried to turn my phone off, but it fucking reset instead. i got tired of waiting for it to shut off and then just put it in my bag in my locker. bad idea :) . also, i saw a stud. now, when i see other women that ping on my scale, i always wonder if i ping on theirs lmao. like she probably didn't care and was minding her own business, like i should have been doing lmao. like i know all gay people don't have to be buds and all that,  but i kinda wish it worked that way lmao. i feel like we shoulda had a secret handshake lmao. also, i understand that you can't always assume all tomboys are lesbians but idk girl i think she was. she pinged. she pinged! i can't help but to think the way i do lmao.  but anyway that whole morning, i felt nauseous, but i thought it was because i hadn't eaten. i hadn't had anything until i returned home later. but anyway, i halfway was distracted during the test because i felt funny. shout out to me for doing worse than i did the first time lmfaoooooooooo. i didn't practice as hard as i should have. anyway, after the test i got my phone back.... 2%. so, i pretty much knew i wasn't gonna be able to use uber. so, what'd i do? set out for a metro station. i knew i'd be good if i could just find a metro station. anyway, i wound up taking a bit of a stroll. wasn't long. i wasn't mad either, because DC is beautiful and it was a beautiful day and everything. anyway, found a stop, slid on the metro, got back to my normal stop, and hailed a cab. jk. i didn't hail a cab. i just went to a stand. i feel like only fine people can hail a cab. i tried one time a couple years back (with other people) and no one stopped lmao. what a humbling experience :) then i got back in the crib. Ate, still felt like crap. Wouldn't you hoes know I was *really* sick this time? not sure if it's cuz i kept lying to my teachers, talmbout i'm sick or what lmfao. I haven't been SICK SICK in a good ten years. and here i go, (self) confined to bed for a whole two or so days. i'm cool now. turns out i just had to shit lmfao. the whole problem is, i've been... "backed up" before but i never had issuses with eating because of it.. nor was the nausea THIS bad. like wtf. anyway, i'm cool. lemon water is bae. 

TMI, huh? sorry lol.