Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

LAWL

Hey, wig. It's been like a month. Still love my hair. Downloaded dating apps again. Before y'all judge me, I'm realizing I was actually serious when I said I didn't like using them. They're boring and I always feel like whoever I vibe with would have to meet me in person to get to know me. The first reason for this is cuz I don't consider myself photogenic. I think my pictures are, like, okay, but, yeah. Mirror-reflection me slays much harder. I get matches, but none of them actually pan out. Some people will match with you and not say ANYTHING lmfao. Or, if they something and you reply, they don't respond. LOL. Proud to say I got a corny pickup line used on me. Sis was a whole child, though, like, ma'am....where is your mother? Anyway, so now I just use 'em to watch everybody else moan and groan about being single lmao.

Like, I don't want to be, either, but I'm not crying on social media every five seconds about it. No, I come here and whine every so often. LMAO, and let's not even talk about the complete overflow of healthy relationships I see on my social media timelines. Lol, it really isn't that much-- I follow close to 300 people, and I see maybe six or seven people posting their baes or discussing how happy they are on their relationships or something. I be like... "hm... must be nice." But then I be like, "I just need to be glad that I'm not in a position of worrying about how to keep whomever pleased so they don't leave my ass". Like, that's a blessing, I guess lmfao. Like, I'm ready for the universe to place me in that situation, but really, i'm glad I can see the good in not being there. Otherwise, I would be completely over this shit, lol. Like I said, now would have been the perfect time to have somebody to focus on building something with, 'cause the world is still pretty fucked up right now. Most people are still at home, and all that, so most people still have a lot of time at their disposal. But I just said I was cool with me not dealing with anybody, so maybe I ought not say shit else about it, lmao. 

Oh, so lemme tell you why I really came here. I think I've posted about the topic of friends more than a few times over the years. I don't know when I started writing in this bitch, but it's been since I was in undergrad, so I'll say it's probably been close to, if not more than, three years. I've shared my experiences with trying to build friendly relationships with people and how I feel about it and all that. Well, I've said most of these things to my family, too. I make it known that I much prefer to be by myself and not have to deal with other people, swearing they were my friends when they be on some bullshit. I'm sure I have also been reading the fuck out of my aunt, the one I do not like-- or at least, I like her way less than the one I live with, lol. Welp, turns out, I am the topic of her discussions, even when a situation has ZERO to do with me.

I think I told y'all how my whole family has been stressing my sister the hell out, and she turns to me to vent. Welp, she revealed that my least favorite aunt thinks I belong in therapy because DUN DUH DUHHHHHHN-- "I don't have friends". L M F A O. 

First of all, I was confused. Let's just say I never made another friend ever again in life-- if I'm fine with it, if it has not had any effect on me, negatively, why would that mean that I need to go to therapy?

Now, could a nigga use therapy? Meh, I tried it before in my undergrad, because the teachers thought I was depressed because I wouldn't say anything in class. (Here is where I will remind y'all for the 87th time that I went to a deaf university and I knew not one lick of American Sign Language, which is why I never said anything lmao.) Eventually throughout my years there, I probably did become depressed, but I've been flourishing ever since graduation. 

Actually, I figure anybody could use it, but is it necessary  for me to function? No, I'm fine. I just mind my business, blast my music, write, eat, shit, and sleep. And most of the time, I'm happy as can be. The only times I've been anything other than happy is when I learn she will be visiting us, and when I learned I wouldn't be going back to campus this semester. That's it, lmao. 

I don't talk to this aunt about anything of importance, ever. If she has a question, I answer it, vaguely. I don't tell her my business because all she is going to do is spread it. Last year there was an incident that involved her telling everybody and their mama how much of a piece of trash I was lmfaoooooo. It's kind of funny, but also a way of the universe putting shit in its natural order, because, she was very irritating to be around all through high school. Once I graduated and moved away, she got more tolerable. Now, I still wasn't keeping in touch or anything with her, but the resentment(?) from her ruining my teenage experience slowly subsided, and then reimplanted itself when she pulled that bullshit last year.

There are three people who find themselves at the nucleus of everybody else's problem on a regular basis-- my sister, my mom, and my aunt.

My sister gets a bunch of crap from everybody 'cause she's rebellious. 

My mom....  bitch I'm not gon' tell my mama's tea. LMFAO.

My aunt stresses everybody out cuz she's a huge nag. Both of my aunts are nags. One just serves her naggery with a lifetime supply of hypocrisy. Everybody has a problem with it, but somehow we're supposed to deal with THAT, but my sister is supposed to just TAKE everyone trash-talking her. As you can guess, I'm usually on my sister's side lmfao.

Basically I came here to laugh with y'all at the audacity my crazy ass aunt possesses. If anybody needs to go see a therapist, it is HER lmfaooooooooooooooooo. She is a fucking nutcase and when you point it out to her, she tries to make it seem like it's you with the problem. The whole needing friends thing is weird because her friendships are not real lmfaoooo. None of those people can stand her because all she does is exhaust them with her pushiness. She forces herself into friendships and into different social circles. That's all fine and dandy if that's what she wants to do, but don't tell me SHIT about friendships or relationships with anybody, girl lmfao. WHEW!! I have people I consider my friends, but I don't have to talk to them every second of the day to feel like I belong someplace lmao. And what my aunt doesn't know (because I didn't and never will tell her) is that I was becoming friendly with my peers at the new school. The stress of being in public wasn't nearly as bad as it was, before. Before I could have actually made friends, though, we all got kicked off campus. I wonder what she'll say in the future. Knowing me, I'll probably be married in secret, with a whole kid and another bun in the oven, before anybody figures out that I made it past a day, talking to somebody lmfaooooo. Whew.

JK on the kids. That's a mess. 

Anyway, bye.