I've already promised myself like 8 years ago that I was gonna become a pet mom. Currently, I want a cat and a dog. I want them both to be boys. Just so I can say I have a man, and be referring to my pets, even though I'm a lesbian 😂. I love the idea of calling pets your significant other when you don't really have one LMAO. Look, since I'll be single for all of eternity, pet mom life will be GREAT for me! Did I say this was gonna be short? I might be lying.
Anyway, I'm positive my cat will be either a mostly black cat with a white spot, all black, or just a regular ol' tuxedo cat. And his actual name is gonna be Carlisle, Carli for short. I can't wait til I call Carli back onto the porch and my neighbor goes, "she's such a cute cat." Then I'll be like "Carli's a boy". And then their faces will flash with confusion for a second but then they'll go back to complementing my cat. :) I'd hate to change my mind on his name at the last second because I'm also a fan of kind of seeing which animal is the most welcoming when you go to the pet store/shelter. I imagine Carli to be completely sarcastic and uninterested in anything aside from trolling me and kibble. What if I break down at the last second and go for a LOVING cat??????!!!??? Will Carli still work as a name? Or will I name him some extra cute shit, like Snuggles like everyone else????
As far as a dog, I've decided that i want a light yellow one-- a yellow lab or a golden retriever. His name is going to be Everett, Ev for short. I'm less likely to budge on his name than Carli's. At one point in time, though, I did consider getting a dark dog-- possibly a chocalate lab and calling her Pepper. Once upon a time my neighbors had a dog named Pepper and she was real cute but had me and my sister shook when we had to pet sit for a couple hours. That dog ate my bible 😂😂😂😂. I wonder where she's at. Pepper, though, would be a girl. But I just want pet sons right now. Also, I can't wait to do those Facebook tags, where you put down what you were doing 5 years ago and what you're doing now. You know:
5 Years Ago:
Lived Where:
Tattoos:
Job Then:
Car Type:
Kids Then:
and then they make you repeat it for the update on your life. I wanna be like:
Kids then: 0
Kids now: 2
Then I want some of my old acquaintances to be like "wow, Alb, I didn't know you had children".
"Oh, yeah. Two boys."
"Oh, wow, what are their names?"
"Everett and Carlisle."
"Wow, when are their birthdays?"
"Idk"
"You don't know your own children's birthdays?"
"Nah, they're adopted."
"Oh, wow! What a great thing you did! So, where are they from?"
"PetSmart."
😂
I'm out, bye!
YOU ARE READING
Memoirs of a Broke B*tch
Humorhere's me whining about sh*t I can probably change, but won't cuz it's more fun to write about it.
