Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

23.

I am 23, girl. WTF am I even doing with my life?

Did you know some hoes are happily married by this time?

(LMAO not that i want to be married but it's SOMETHING you can be proud of.. i guess.)

Some people are damn mothers by this time.

(My mom was.) 

Some people have been slaying their job positions since high school and out here prospering.

And here I am, still in college, with a year left to damn go.

Kinda feel behind. Like, I went to college after a gap year, and then I'm gonna be here for another.

I'll have been in college for five years, by the time I graduate.

I'm not embarrassed by it, I embrace it-- but I keep feeling like I'm running out of time.

I don't feel like death is near or anything crazy like that, but I feel like my 20s is slipping away from me.

I mean, think about it.

If everything goes right, I'll be 24 and a new college graduate.

On top of that, I plan on going back undergrad for at least three more years.

(I'm gonna see about taking the fast track for this second degree, because i will use that one.)

I think I'll use the degree I'm currently chasing, but i'm more sure of the second one.

Anyway, I do plan to have a stable teaching/daycare job by the time i graduate again..

i just thought of something, though...

i'ma fuck around and be a teacher's aide before i take on my own classroom. boom. problem solved. i'm gon be a new teacher in my late 20s, but i'll have had loads of experience. i need to write this down before i forget.

anyway yay, i feel like i'm going nowhere fast.

this semester has been pretty hard on me and i don't really know why, because nothing has changed. i've always been alone for most of the day, i've always been miserable in class. i don't really know why the heck everything got to me this semester.

currently, i'm literally counting down the weeks and days until we let out.

i'm awaiting the room lottery so i can pick this damn room and live out the rest of my college days in comfort and hopefully with a roommate who is also not really that big on people.

my current roommate is cool and i have no problems with her. sometimes she brings people back. i think the most annoying part about that is, she's brought back so  many people, and i brought back none lol.

i told yall i do not be out here fraternizing with these people, but even in HS i was the same way and still managed to escape with a couple good friends. not sure why it didn't happen in college. it's trash because i can't even complain about it to people who also understand. like i feel like i would feel so much better about school if i had just one friend to meet with at all times of night or whatever. i don't really consider my roommate to be that because she's always out with her people and whenever a real issue arises, she goes to them lol. it's no problem, but you see why i don't really call her a GOOD, best friend.

bitch i'm not finna spend the last eight minutes of my birthday complaining.

so happy bday to me and fuck nicholas cruz and george zimmerman :)

cheers.

catch yall in my business next time.

bye!