The Broken Orphan [Being Rewritten]

Five- Stress

Evangeline

The definition of Stress is: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. Common synonyms for Stress are: worry, fear, fearfulness, dread, affliction, agony, alarm, albatross, anxiety, apprehensiveness, nervous tension, nervousness, and restlessness.

To say I'm stressed would be an understatement. I am a complete nervous wreck and have been ever since my last class. The teacher gave out the forms for the checkups at the end of class. The option of not giving the form to Ms. Victoria runs through my mind, but I know she would find out about it eventually.

I give the form to Ms. Victoria as soon as I get back from school. The urge to beg and plead with her to say no stifles my every breath as she signs the papers.

She says to always accept free services, especially if they are usually expensive. She checks the 'Yes' box and signs her name with a pen, and dread floods my stomach. She then hands it back to me with a scowl, clearly not wanting to put up with any antics from me.

I finish filling out the form as there are a few basic question about me located at the bottom of the page. I fill out my age, birthday, schedule, and the final question which is a scale going from one to ten.

"Do you have a fear or phobia of Dentist/Doctors?
If so, please rate the fear from one to ten. One being small, and ten being a great fear."

I check the yes box and rate it as a ten. Under the scale is a statement and lines for writing.

"If you have a fear, please let us know ways we can help make the experience more calming and pleasant for you, using the lines below for your response."

I scoff, and my pen flies to the paper.
"Don't do the exams." I write quickly. After finishing the paper and my remaining homework, I pack my supplies back into my bag and lug it to the end of my bed.

I change into my pajamas after showering. Showers are my favorite. I love the way the warm water feels, and the feeling of being clean both mentally and physically after. Showers can make you feel like you can wash away your problems. Like you have a new start when you get out.

Ms. Victoria calls everyone downstairs for dinner. All the kids rush downstairs, bumping into me along the way. I watch from afar as the kids get in line for their food. Tonight is soup night for them.

I get the bread Ms. Victoria has left for me on the counter. She doesn't allow me to eat what everyone else eats because there isn't enough for me.

The bread is cold and stale, but that's not uncommon. My stomach growls, and I begin to eat. I'm finished within a few minutes, so I start on the dishes. Almost instantaneously, kids begin to pile up their bowls beside the sink. I let out a sigh at the monstrous mountain of bowls before me. I start washing as quick as I can, so I can try to get them all done before the hot water runs out.

I finish washing the bowls and my hands look like raisins. By the time I'm done drying and putting away the dishes, everyone has gone to their rooms for the night. I'm left alone in the dark of the kitchen-the draft in the house making me shiver under the thin fabric of my pajamas. I still can't go to sleep. Ms. Victoria had told me to clean the orphanage, and that she needed it done by morning. I have to be quiet so I don't wake up the others who are sleeping.

I start by tidying up, fixing all the pillows, and folding the blankets. Then, I wash all the windows and what few mirrors the orphanage has. I continue with the laundry, which has accumulated into big piles from all the people. I spend hours on laundry because there is so much. I dust around and shine the wood in the orphanage until I'm happy with the results.

When I start on washing the floor, it's already four in the morning. I get on my hands and knees with a sponge and begin. My body begs for rest. I have to force my limbs to move under me. They're cold and numb from not having a break for so long. My muscles burn, and my head pounds.

I finish everything just as it's time for me to start getting ready for school. I do my morning routine, slip on a t-shirt with a pair of black leggings along with my hoodie. I start my walk to school. It starts to drizzle and I pull up my hood. It soon turns to a downpour. My clothes are soaked, along with my shoes when I get to school. I trudge to the library and sit down at my normal spot. I read my book until it's time for me to go to class.

Ms. Harris takes up our forms at the end of class. My heart sinks when she takes mine. She glances down to the scale and stops me before I can go outside the door. I'm the last one in the room so no one else is with us. She holds me by my upper arm lightly and looks into my eyes.

"Everything will be alright, Evangeline. There's nothing to be afraid of." She says sweetly. I stare back at her with an expression that's void of any emotion.

'Actually there's a lot to be afraid of, but good try.' I think to myself. She gives me a small smile and a squeeze on my arm. I don't respond, but walk away without even acknowledging her.

I struggle to stay awake during the rest of my classes. I go to the library during my study hall and sleep during it and lunch. I used my hoodie as a pillow, only this made me cold. My clothes are still damp from this morning. It was a good nap until I woke up to find Luke and Grayson at my table. There was a jacket laid over my shoulders, probably Luke's because Grayson has his on. Luke has a book and Grayson was filling out paperwork. I ran out as soon as I woke up. I then proceed to unwillingly have an anxiety attack in the bathroom.

'How long had they been watching me? Were they there the whole time? What did they do to me while I slept?' These questions whirl through my mind throughout the rest of the day. It poured rain on my way home. I bundled up in my hoodie as much as I could. It didn't do much, the water soaked all the way through after a few minutes, leaving me shivering in the pelting rain.

I collapse onto my bed after changing. I did my homework earlier. I ate my bread slowly, savoring eat bite as my stomach begged for more. I slowly drift off to sleep, fear controlling my dreams as I think about the checkups I'm going to be forced into sometime soon. Preferably never.