Alone Together | Bughead Oneshots

If You Loved Me, You Would Leave

This is going to be very, very, very sad, by the way. Enjoy! 

TW: attempted suicide, mentions of medication, self harm

Betty was curled up on her bed, crying as her mascara ran down her cheeks. She couldn't care less about how she looked as she felt so worthless, unwanted, unloved. She felt like she couldn't be perfect, no matter how hard she tried. She had been losing weight like crazy, becoming more distant, she was afraid no one cared anymore, and neither did she. "One last try. I'm giving life one last try," Betty thought to herself.

She'd been thinking that for a while now, maybe as a way of stalling. She couldn't delay it for much longer. As she lay there, on her bed she looks back on her life and realizes, "No, I'm not going to look back and regret the things I didn't do. I wanna look back and regret the things I did do." It was so hard when she tried to take her life and eventually failed.

One time she had tried to get help from herself, asking why she couldn't forgive the people who had either intentionally or unintentionally hurt her. But then she thought, "Did you forgive yourself?"

Betty was sobbing by now, and there was nothing left to do. She'd imagined a world without herself as if she was looking down at everyone she'd left behind. Archie would still be playing football and writing music. Veronica would still wear her pearls and designer clothes. Cheryl would still slay with her red attire and dance as the lead with the River Vixens. Kevin would still be the happy best friend that he is.

 And Jughead? He would still wear his beanie and 'S' T-shirts. He would still go to Pop's and write on his computer. He would've forgotten all about her, and so would everyone else. Betty remembered an all-too-real dream she had recently where she and Jughead were fighting. "Sometimes, you are just too much for me," he said.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Jughead slid up her window up and came in. "Betts? Betty? Are you okay?" He asked, cautiously stepping forward, not knowing Betty had a bottle of her prescription pills in her hand, ready to intake them all at once. Betty sniffled and choked out a sarcastic remark. "Yes, this is how I look when I'm okay." "Betty, what's wrong?" What happened?" Jughead asked. There was no response.

Jughead sat at the edge of her bed and continued. "You haven't been talking to me lately, or anyone for that matter. I haven't seen you eat in like, 2 weeks. You're always wearing long sleeves. You're scaring me, Betty." "I'm scaring me, too," Betty said, grasping the bottle tighter. Betty wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him, but she just couldn't. "Talk to me, Betts " Jughead requested.

"Why am I running around like a crazy person?" Betty sobbed. "What do you mean?" Jughead asked, rubbing her back. "I feel like I'm trapped in one designated place. Everytime I try to run out the front door, I'm just brought back through the basement," Betty explained. "But to answer your original question," Betty paused and sniffled. "Right now, I wanna be not okay," She finished.

Betty snapped out of this phase of letting Jughead in. She loved him more than she loved herself, but she knew the second she allowed her walls to crumble down, he would only try to talk her out of it, and then she would be trapped; leaving through the front door, coming in through the basement's. Betty hated pushing Jughead away, she hated leaving him in the dark. But this was for the best. "Go away," Betty mumbled, part of her wishing she didn't say anything at all. Jughead, not hearing her clearly, asked for clarification. "What did you say, baby?" he asked softly.

"I said go away!" Betty said louder and a bit angrier. Jughead was confused at her actions. She had never really pushed him away before. She'd never flat out told him to leave. Then he saw the bright orange bottle in her hand and pulled the pieces together. "Betty, what's in your hand?" Jughead asked, seeing how she'd react knowing he saw the pills. Betty urgently hid them beneath her. "It's nothing. Now, go away," Betty responded.

"Betty, you're not fooling me. Are those pills?" Jughead asked, standing up and slowly making his way to the side she was facing as she previously had her back to him. "Jughead, go away!" Betty demanded. In an attempt to grab the bottle, Jughead pulled up her sleeve accidentally, revealing weeks, maybe even a month's worth of scars and cuts, including some new ones, fresh from today. Betty urgently pulled her sleeve back down in anger and frustration as Jughead began tearing up. "Bet-Betty, why would you do this?" Jughead asked, a tear trickling down his face.

"Go away Jughead!" Betty said louder. "If you loved me, you would leave!" Betty defended. When she noticed his lack of exit, she pointed it out after calming herself down a bit. "Why aren't you leaving?" Betty asked, calmly, grasping her pillow and sniffling. "I'm not going. Not now, not ever," Jughead stated. "So go ahead. Yell at me and try to push me away, but I'm not going anywhere," he added, sitting down next to her and hoping she would allow his company, despite her lack of willingness to let him stay.

"Juggie?" Betty motioned. "Yes, baby?" Jughead answered, stroking her golden hair. "I take it back. Please don't go. Please stay," Betty requested. "I won't. Ever. I won't ever leave you." Jughead promised. "I've always tried my best to make sure you got all the good, but it's an overall loss because I'm no good," She continued. "Betty, you are nothing except good," Jughead tried to reason. "No, I'm nothing at all," Betty argued.

"That is the most untrue statement I have ever heard," Jughead said as he continued to run his hand over her back and comfort her. "Jughead, you want to know a secret?" Betty inquired. "What is it?" Jughead asked curiously. If you had climbed through that window 10 or even 5 minutes later, I wouldn't have answered you. I wouldn't have been able to," Betty said, reaching under her and grabbing the pills. She handed them to Jughead and with a pause, continued to something that broke Jughead's heart:

"I would've been dead."