question everything (( Peterick oneshots ))

F U C K

Saint runs around the house like a mad man. The two year old was hopped up on sugar and Patrick was regretting giving him a third chocolate chip pancake, not to mention that he hadn't realized saint and Pete are ice cream at 5 this morning.

"Ugh, Saint, come here you little bugger." Patrick trues to stop the toddler.

Saint just continues to frantically run around, panting and giggling. Patrick sighs.

"Peeeeeete." Patrick whines loudly, hoping his husband would hear him.

"Whaaaaaaat?" He hears Pete call from upstairs.

"Saint is being annoying help me." Patrick says.

Pete laughs softly, Saint almost knocking over a vase. However, Patrick catches it before it falls.

"Well, I'm trying to hang up a family photo." Pete says.

"Alright, I'll deal with it." Patrick sighs.

Pete just laughs louder. "It?"

"I meant him, dumb fucker-fricker." Patrick corrects himself because Saint is around him.

"Nice catch." Pete says.

"Yea, thanks."

"Dad! Dad!" Saint stops running and pulls at Patrick's shirt.

"Wh-what??" Patrick says, startled.

"Can I have another pancake." Saint jumps up and down more.

"No, Saint. You've had three."

"Ugh! C'mon!! Give me a pancake, dumb fucker!" Saint yells.

Patrick freezes. All that was heard in the house was Pete's hysterical laughter from upstairs. "Saint!" He yells.

"Saint we do not cuss, or insult people at all."Patrick scolds Saint.

"But, but you called papa a dumb fucker and you love papa so it can't be that bad." Saint reasons.

"Oh, Saint." Patrick sighs again, "we do not use bad words in this house, Dad messed up, okay?"

Saint smiles goofily. "Okay, I'm sorry, dad."

Patrick smiles.

Then, the father and son hear a scream from upstairs.

"FUCK." And an object being dropped, "GODDAMNIT STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT I PUT A FUCKING NAIL IN THE WALL WHY THE HELL DID YOU FALL."

—

Hey hey

I have a F U N idea.

Can you guess how old I am?((based off my writing))