Against Reason

Chapter 5: How Bout Forever?

A/N The beginning of the second scene dialogue is straight from a scene of the show so I'm just gonna go out and say that before people start saying "You stole this" or something like that.

As we walk through the door Alison's mom walks comes in from the den, talking all business like on the phone. 

"Alison, I know you have a friend over but you need to study for your French test.  Emily can help you I know she does well in French.  I asked her mother to help you so you have no choice," Mrs. Dilaurentis says and then just walks out of the room, like talking to her daughter is just one thing marked off the to-do list of the day.

"Ugh my mom is no fun. Alright let's go upstairs," Alison says with an exasperated tone, like she knows better than to disobey her mom.  I guess Ali is good at picking and choosing her battles.

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"We're supposed to be studying," I say and look at Ali.  She's arranging some post cards on her bed while I'm sitting on the day bed looking out her window. I pause and wait for her to answer.

"You planning a trip?" I'm starting to think she's ignoring me on purpose.  Looks like Ali really doesn't want to study.

"You and me in sweet Paris? How does that sound?"  Ali finally answers me and shoots me her signature closed mouth smile that makes the boys, and the girls for that matter, melt.

I look down and blush. "Maybe we should learn how to parle Français before we go," I finally manage to stutter out, trying to be witty.  I told you I'm a goody-two-shoes I hate disobeying her mom.  She's the single scariest woman I've ever met.

"We could start in the south of France, dancing through sunflower fields, lounging around in our bikinis in the French Riviera," Ali just completely ignores my studying question so I just assume there's no hope for us to actually do what we are supposed to. 

"You'd look so good on top of the Eiffel Tower, wind in your hair," Alison smiles at me and I walk over to look at her postcards.  We both try and look at the same one and our hands touch.  I wait for her to move her hand but she doesn't.  We both look at each other and I blush profusely while she just smiles. She's always in control.  Nothing can faze her.  To try and get out of the awkwardness of this situation I ask her another question.

"How long are we going away for?"

Ali turns to look at me, smiles and says, "How bout forever?"

When she looked at me like that, and talked to me like that, something inside me clicked.  I had a crush on Alison.  How had I not known before?  I finally realized why I feel so protective of her, why I care so much about her opinion, why I always think about her.  I like Alison, as more than a friend. Well, now I have a problem.

For the rest of the night, I try to act as normal as possible, trying to forget that my whole world just got turned upside down.  Am I gay? No, I still like Ben...right? Yeah, I'll see him tomorrow and realize I'm just confused right now.  Every girl gets confused, it's high school.

"So I was thinking that we need to get all the girls together and go to the lake tomorrow.  We could stay at Spencer's lake house and tan all day. Sounds fun right?" Ali's eyes get really big as she talks, letting me know she's excited about these plans. It makes it so much harder to say no, but I have to go on this date with Ben, to make good on yesterday's lunch, and to make sure I'm not, you know, the L word.

"I'm sorry Ali I made plans with Ben for dinner.  That sounds like fun though, you and the girls should just go without me," I want all of them to have fun, whether I'm there or not.  They'll tell me all about it and it'll be basically like I went anyway.

Ali rolls her eyes at me, "Ugh ever since you started dated him you're no fun.  You can just come to the lake anyway and drive back for your dinner with Ben."

That sounds like a good plan because I won't lie; I really want to spend time with my friends.

"Alright sounds like a plan.  Now I'm exhausted can we go to bed? I swam a record breaking race today remember?" I tease Alison but i really am tired.

"Alright sure let's go to bed," Alison turns around to get pajamas out of her closet, like I've seen her do a thousand times before, but I can't help but stare this time.  As she takes off her shirt I see all the muscles in her back contract and I can't help but notice how sexy she is.  I turn away when she starts talking off her pants because I honestly don't think I would be responsible for my actions at that point.  When I look back she has on a black tank top and some gray little boy shorts.  She can make pajamas look good dammit!

Ali looks at me like I'm crazy, "Hello? Emily are you listening?"

Has she been talking to me this whole time? Wow I need to stop zoning out all the time.

"What? Sorry I guess I just zoned out.  What did you say?"

"I asked if you had clothes," you can practically hear the eye roll in her voice. 

"No I-" I can't even finish my sentence because a pair of pajamas hit me in the face.  

"You can sleep in that.  But those are my favorites so if you do anything to them I'll bury you," Ali says , only half joking. I have seen her wear these multiple times at sleep overs at stuff, so I don't doubt what she says.  Putting on her clothes I can't help but breathe in her scent.  She just smells so damn good!

"Wow those almost look better on you than they do on me."

I look at the aqua tank and yellow boy shorts and I have to disagree.  Alison makes everything look better; I could never compete with her. 

We get in bed and have to share the pillow; it's like a ritual.  Ali never wants to get another pillow no matter how many times we have slept over and asked her to.  She jokes she's a cuddler and doesn't want us getting too far away.  I feel like Alison deep down wants to feel loved, she's just afraid of being rejected.  She wants that closeness with someone, and I will be there for her, even just as a friend.  Anyway to be with her is good enough for me.

When Ali turns off the light I can feel her breathing on the back of my neck.

"Emily?" Her soft voice is right next to my ear and it makes my breath hitch.

"Y-yeah?" I stutter a little bit by her close proximity and thank God that she can't see me blush.

"Why do you like Ben?" 

This doesn't sound like the normal Ali D.  She sounds almost afraid, like my answer could be painful to hear, but she has to know. This confuses me.  I turn towards her and think carefully about my answer.  When we are this close, it's hard to remember why I like anything that's not her.

"I don't know, I guess I like that he's sweet.  He's very patient with me and understanding.  He forgives me when I mess up, which has been a lot recently.  I guess I need to learn how to juggle a boyfriend along with everything else."

Satisfied with my answer I turn back around and try to go back to sleep.  After a couple minutes I realize the real reason I like him and I feel like Ali should know.

"I like Ben because he noticed me, when no one else did."

I would have thought Alison was asleep if I didn't hear her sharp intake of breath.  But she doesn't say anything. I think Alison likes to talk about these things in the dark because we can't see her.  She doesn't have to be Alison Dilaurentis. She can just be Ali.

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A/N Ok guys I was thinking, do you guys want me to do dedications and pictures and stuff? I realize I've just been writing and not utilizing all the other wonderful things that Wattpad gives us writers to enhance the stories.  Also, do you want me to update like on a specific schedule or just update as soon as I'm done writing? That can mean that you get two chapters in one day but none the next 2 days if I'm busy on those days or something. Comment below what you would prefer.