Against Reason

Chapter 14: The Secret is Out

This chapter gets dedicated to a twitter user @crushingonsasha because she started the Emison Equality movement and I respect her so much for that. Guys all LGBT romances deserve equality and I know a lot of my readers are LGBT. So guys, it doesn't matter that I'm straight, I will fight for your rights if you are gay or bi. I got a lot of flack from my friends for tweeting about it, a lot of them accused me of being gay but I just didn't respond. So what if I was? It's not like that would change who I am. So guys I just want you to know, if you ever need anyone to talk to you or even just to listen, I am an ear for you. I get really fired up about this topic so I'm always an ally:) Alright that's enough pep talk from me enjoy the chapter!

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After the awkward locker room incident I tell Alison that I'm going to drop her off at Aria's house because I forgot I was supposed to help Hanna study. I couldn't bear to look at Ali all night and realize I couldn't have her. It was embarrassing to be rejected, but humiliating to have to look in the face of my rejection all night. I'm so hopelessly in love with her that I couldn't even bring myself to leave her stranded at school. I had to give her a ride home. I guess I really am like a lovesick puppy.

The whole ride there, all Ali talked about was Nathan. Apparently they hooked up and she stayed at his place last night. That thought nearly crushed me. The same day we kissed, she had sex with a boy I've never heard her talk about until today. If that wasn't bad enough, he was one of the guys to harass me in the bar that day. I just nodded my head and pretended my heart wasn't slowly breaking with every word that fell out of her mouth.

When we reach Aria's, i practically throw her out of the car and burn rubber on the way to my special spot. There's a creek that runs through the woods behind my house and whenever I need to think I go there. I climb the tree over looking the waterfall and think about how my life is kind of like this creek. It feels like it's going perfectly until one thing happens and suddenly I'm falling, with no way of stopping. I didn't know that heartbreak like this existed. I can feel every piece of my heart cracking and falling away, leaving me empty.

I stay in my tree for a little while before I decide it's time to go. I can't here with my thoughts any longer, I'll become clinically depressed. I don't really feel like going home, so to get my mind off things I decide to go to Ben's house. The ride there takes about 10 minutes and on the way there, I call him and ask him if I could come. He sounded a little frazzled.

I knock on his door and awkwardly wait on his front porch. I realize I have yet to meet his mother, this is going to be awkward. I'm saved because he opens the door instead of any other member of his family. He straightens his shirt and runs his hand through his hair before he wordlessly gestures me inside. I step inside but turn and barrel myself into his body, the sobs starting. He shushes me and rubs my back while I cry into his chest. After about a minute I look up into his eyes. We still haven't said a word to each other since I got here.

"What's up Em? What's got you so torn up?" Ben's soft voice reaches down into my little break down and snaps me out of it.

"Can we go to your room and talk?" I ask him.

"Of course," he says while leading me upstairs. He closes the door and sits me down on his bed.

"So what happened?" he looks at me expectantly. I obviously can't tell him I kissed someone else, especially a girl, so I only tell half of the truth.

"Alison and I got into a fight. I don't think our friendship is ever going to be the same again and I can't lose her. I don't know what I would do," I start sobbing again and he pulls me to him.