Against Reason

Chapter 13: Humiliation Station

This chapter is dedicated to JasminWebb for adding my story to, not one, but two reading lists:) I get notified when you add my story to your reading list and it is very much appreciated!!!! Thank you again for all the support that I've gotten, it makes me feel all good inside:)  Enjoy the chapter!

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Emily's POV

As I drive home, I can barely think straight.  I can still taste her strawberry chapstick and feel her warm breath on my face.  Everything about Alison is completely intoxicating, from her lips, to her personality. She definitely kissed me back and she smiled at me after.  Does that mean she feels the same? Is anything going to happen between us? Am I going to get to kiss her again?  All these thoughts keep running circles around my head and I try to shake them away.  It's taking everything in me not to go drive to her house right now.  I have to give her space to process what happened, just like how I need to do the same.

When I walk into the house, I still have this stupid grin on my face.  My mom sees and stops in her tracks.

"Emily?  What has you looking like a little kid on Christmas? Were you with Ben?" She asks me, walking into the foyer.

I completely forgot all about my boyfriend.  I don't remember the last time I saw him.  I can't even remember his last name right now!  All I can think about is the girl with the heart shaped face. Her strawberry chapstick, her spearmint gum, her vanilla perfume.  Everything about her is addicting.

"What? Oh yeah sure," I lie to her, hoping she'll get off my case.  I don't want to tell her anything about Alison yet, not until I know what we are exactly.  I run up to my room to avoid further interrogation and lie back on my bed.  I bring my hand up to my lips and smile, I hope she's thinking about me the same way I'm thinking about her right now.

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Alison's POV

I ride my bike home, confused as hell.  Emily kissed me, and I don't know how to act about that.  Her lips were soft.  Her hands were warm.  Her breath tasted like cherries.  I swerved my bike and almost crashed on the sidewalk.

'Stop thinking about it Alison,' I think to myself, 'You like boys'

I was just doing her a favour though.  She needed to finally admit to herself what she really was.  A lesbian.  I knew what I was doing when she kissed me, but I hadn't expected to like it.  I can admit to myself that the kiss was good, but it was only for Emily.  No part of that kiss was for my benefit.  And now that she has kissed me, I have her wrapped completely around my finger.

I get home and put my bike in the garage.  I check to see that Mother's car is gone and I go through the back door up to my room.  I lie down on my bed and decide to write another journal entry about Emily, this time about the kiss.  I want to make sure I remember why I did this so I don't look back confused. I title it Girl Crush and begin.

Girl Crush
So girl crush kissed me today.  To be fair, I kissed her back and it was good, but I definitely don't have feelings for her the way she has them for me since she was 15.  How no one else has noticed this besides me is mind blowing.  I may be more attentive to these sort of things than most people, but GC is so obvious about it that her eyes might as well be permanently glued to me.  Funny thing is, if I hadn't let her kiss me, she may never have admitted, even to herself, what she really is.  I better make sure she doesn't think what happened today in the Library changes anything.  I like boys, and I'm going to set that straight with her sooner or later.