[Sequel to Home]
Years after her heartbreaking relationship with Harry, all Eleanor has to show for it are the memories that haunted her and their beautiful daughter. For the first time in a long time, she thinks its finally all over.
Harry, danger...
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*let's pretend this is our little Heleanor family :')*
Eleanor P.O.V
My whole world was going to change and I knew it. Everything that had been implanted into me growing up was telling me that this was wrong, that this wasn't what was supposed to do.
Only it wasn't wrong. And it was the best thing to do. No matter how you looked at it. I kept telling myself that it would be over soon. I was going to do my hardest to make it possible that both Harry and I came back to Freya.
It was so hard to attempt pushing that fear to the back of my head. What if this was the last time I saw daughter?
My eyes stung painfully. I had been so self-conscious about crying but now I just gave way to the enormity of the grief. I sobbed into my hands and the tears dripped between my fingers, raining down onto the bathroom floor. My breathing was ragged, I started gasping and strength left my legs. I sank to my knees, not caring about anything. I was being noisy, skin was blotched but there was no-one there to witness, let alone come to comfort me.
I cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained. The hopelessness was what got me the most. Harry and I could try our hardest to end this. There were no guarantees we would succeed or if only one of us was to make it.
I wished so badly that I had the same faith that I did years ago. Part of me wished I could bring myself to pray. Back then that was all I did when things were going on. I had such a blind faith and look where it got me.
"Hey bugs, I hope I don't sound rude. Freya is asking for you." Esther's voice spoke up suddenly.
I had to pull it together now but it was so hard. Sometimes, only sometimes I wished I could just be Eleanor. Not Freya's mom. I'm not saying I didn't love or regret her. I chose to have her because I wanted her. It's just my life wasn't my own anymore. I couldn't do things recklessly because my baby depended on me.
I had never been without Freya for long periods of time. Sure, a weekend with her grandparents here and there. But I knew when I was seeing her again. I had a certainty that she was fine. I had a certainty about when I was seeing her again but this time... I had nothing but hope.
