Again (H.S)

positive

Harry P.O.V

I feel bad for waking Eleanor up when she looks so peaceful laying down along Freya. I offered to let her sleep the whole ride but she insisted to be awoken at the first stop. I take one more moment to look at Eleanor before waking her up. We had five minutes before approaching the station anyways.

I truly hate how much I have failed her in these past few days. The last few months more so for dragging it out this long. For letting Desmond find us and hurt Eliza and Esther. For letting him get close enough to take out her father. For not doing anything. All my inaction has caused us to be where we are now.

These are grave mistakes I've made that I can't take back or fix. Not only did I fail the two important women in my life. I let children lose a father or mother. Freddie and Bear will come to hate me one day maybe. Esther whom I owe most here my father hurt her once again. I'm supposed to be a better brother than I was to Eliza but she too was hurt.

I let the father of the women I love and my sister die. He took care of my daughter and loved her just like a grandfather should. Don was far from innocent in all of this but his heart was most pure. His actions in life didn't earn him that death. Yet it happened just like everything else because I caused it.

For what? I can't make sense of it but I wish I could grab whatever it is. Grab it really good and pull it all out of me. Then I wouldn't have an excuse to act an incompetent man whenever Desmond is around. I hate the weakness he's placed inside of me for him.

Once we get somewhere safe I'm going to go back with the boys. I will find Desmond no matter where he is and truly make him pay this time for what he's done. It is time really for not only what he's done to me. But also Gemma and Anne. I don't know where they are or where they stand in all this. A part of me feels though like I should be protecting them. Should be trying to make things better but I don't know how yet. No matter what we've done to one another or lack of because of Desmond. We are the only three who will ever know what it was truly like to survive someone like him.

"We have three more minutes before we reach the station." I whisper into Eleanor's ear pressing my lips against her cheek before pulling away. She opens her eyes quickly looking at our surroundings before looking at me right away. Once Elle's eyes were on me

"Can you get Freya please? I need to use the bathroom and don't want to wake her up." Eleanor requests after letting out a yawn. I respond by holding my arms out for Freya.

Freya stirs when Eleanor removes her arms from around her neck. Eyes open briefly in a panic and she clings right on back to Eleanor.

"Hey Mommy has to go use the bathroom. Let Daddy hold you for a second." Elle hugs Freya tighrly. She kisses her forehead a few times.