Again (H.S)

one last dream

Eleanor P.O.V

I don't know how much worse things can get. Everything inside of me is screaming to run away, to run back to what I know is safe. Except I can't keep people safe like that. Not the ones I care about most.

Now I understand why they say not to marry or have kids in this world. Everyone is a liability. Even if you don't have a significant other or kid. There's always a family member. Desmond didn't have to take Freya from me but he took my Dad. That is enough loss for me and I can't lose anyone else. Harry needs to be around for her if I'm not going to be able too.

I keep telling myself that everything didn't lead up to this. That there is some hope for me but I should know better than to blindly hope.

"Just say the word and I go Rambo. You don't have to go." Louis says softly placing a hand over mine.

I don't take my eyes off of Desmond, who's waiting outside with his posse. He has a look of triumphant that I can't wait to wipe off. Except right now is not the time. I hate how everything is against my favor at the moment.

"No but I'll accept a raincheck." I gave him a sincere look.

"Please tell me that if I let you go. . .you plan on coming back. Harry would kill me if he knew I did this." Louis grabbing my hand a bit harder.
I don't know what he wants me to say.

"I plan on many things and survival is one of them. We know how life works out Louis, this is the gamble I'm making. I cannot promise you I'll win but I plan on taking as many as I can with me if I don't. I can promise that and that I will fight every second to come back okay? But don't you go on living life feeling like this is your fault. I fucked up your life before so now I'm paying for it." I say fiercely.

"That doesn't matter Eleanor. I never blamed you really okay? You didn't know what you were doing so I can't hate you for that. And by the way you are a shit. You're trying to one up yourself from all of us by doing this aren't you?" Louis teases looking away for a second. I notice how he subtly tries to wipe his cheek.

I can't help but laugh because even now Louis is being the ray of sun he is. In the back of my mind I'm also mind fucked at where we are. In another lifetime, I swore I was going to marry Louis Tomlinson. Long before I became Mrs. Styles, I dreamed about being Mrs. Tomlinson. Little did I know the love of my life would be his best friend or that our lives would be this intertwined. Funny how somethings work out.

"You got me there. " I joke along pulling him in for another hug.

Louis hugs me back tightly as well. I enjoyed the moment until I knew I had to go. There was no more holding back or waiting.

It was time to go.

"I'll walk you." Louis says before I can protest after pulling away.

He was out of the car and going to open my door before I knew it. I watched as he crossed the car towards my side. Despite how I feel on the inside I was ready to get this over with. I've been anxious for this moment since I decided on this

I hold onto Louis's arm as we cross the clearing to meet Desmond in the middle. We agreed to meet him near a tripoint is all I know. Belgium, France, and Luxembourg are the possible countries I might be going to next.