Friction || Luke Hemmings

Alli- 52

"Allison?" My breath caught in my throat, the sound of his voice alone causing everything in me to break. It was bad enough that I was hundreds of miles away from my mother when I needed her the most, let alone that far away from Luke when all I wanted was to run into his arms. I saw his face everyday when I unlocked my phone, my background a picture of the two of us- my lips pressed to his cheek as he giggled loudly. But I had not heard his voice in almost two months, and he sounded just as broken as I felt. "Please don't hang up. I-I just... I wanna know that you're okay." He whispered, my jaw suddenly quivering as tears threatened to break through for the umpteenth time today. I wanted to laugh at the term- okay. I hadn't been okay in a long time, but I was even further from it at the moment. 

"Luke." I managed to sputter out before a strangled sob squeezed my throat. I could hardly breathe as I allowed the tears to fall from my eyes, not even attempting to stop the way my body shook on the bathroom floor. The tile was cool against my skin, and even though my body was hot from my fever, goosebumps rose to the surface. Although, that could also have been due to the fact I got to hear his voice after so long. He had called courtliness times, but I still hadn't allowed myself to listen to any of the voicemails... knowing that I would cave and run back to him. That was all I wanted to do at the point in time... I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me while I sobbed into his chest, because I had never been more terrified in my life. 

"Baby what's wrong?" I cried even harder at the term of endearment, his voice cracking on his words. I hated that he sounded like he was in so much pain. I was hoping that by leaving it would help the both of us, but it seemed to be doing just the opposite and I was suddenly horrified I had made the wrong decision. Maybe I should have stayed. "Talk to me, Alli, please." He pleaded, my resolve weakening. I wanted so badly to tell him, but telling him also meant that it was real and I wasn't ready to face that yet. 

"I-I can't." 

"Bullshit." He spit out immediately, and I could practically see him narrowing his eyes at me. I could see him running his fingers through his hair frustratedly... but if I told him what was happening I had a feeling he would be the one hanging up on me. "It's been a month, Alli, please- please just talk to me." 

"Luke, I-I... I miss you." There were so many things I could have said- should have said, but that was all I could manage. I missed him more than he could possibly know. I had grown accustomed to not having him when he 'hated' me, but then I got a taste of what it was like to have him back and I made the dumb ass decision to leave him. Not only did I tear him apart when I left, but I tore myself apart as well. I thought I was doing better, my therapist helping me more than I could have imagined, but within the past twenty-four hours I had taken a hundred steps backwards and I didn't know how I was going to move forward again. 

"Tell me where you are, I'll come to you." He said as if it were that simple. I wish it had been that simple, I wished with everything in me that I could just tell him where I was so he could hop on a plane and come find me. I needed him here with me, but I didn't know if he would even still want to see me after I told him the truth. 

"Luke, I can't." 

"Why not?" He whined, my lips quirking upwards only slightly as I pictured him sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. God did I miss him more than anything. "Alli, I am miserable without you." 

"I... I need more time, Luke." The lie slipped pst my lips without me even trying to stop it. I didn't need more time, I needed him. I needed him to hold me, I needed him to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I needed him to tell me that we would get through this, that we would be stronger once we did. I needed him to promise me that he would never leave me again as long I promised to do the same. I needed him to tell me he loved me, and I needed him to prove it. I needed to see his face... I needed him with me now more than ever.