BOOK 3: The Seventeen Heirs Series; Yoon Jeonghan (SEVENTEEN FANFIC)

40: FINALE

"I lost him when I had the accident, Han. I lost him . . . I'm sorry." She wept. With all her broken heart, she cried. The pain. The guilt. Her loss. Her fear, her every heartache, she poured them all out. She can't stop her tears from falling.

Talking about her child felt like a flaming iron carving into her heart. It burns. It still haunts and hurts her as she lost her own son because of her selfishness. She was too careless. She should be blamed.

"Fvck!" Jeonghan growled.

She closed her eyes when he punched the wall. He moved away as if he can't stay in front of her any longer while cursing.

"Fvck! Fvck!"

He harshly tugged on his hair as if he didn't know what to do. Seeing him that frustrated and mad and confused made her feel like a failure.

"I'm sorry. I hid everything about this. I know, it's my fault. I admit that. But I was afraid . . ." She stopped when he cast a murderous look.

"So, you selfishly decided to keep quiet?"

Her lips trembled. How can she explain? She could see he already made up his mind. That no matter what she says, he's not going to believe her. He already made his conclusion. And she knows she can't fight his conclusion anymore.

She doesn't know how he knew about it. But that doesn't matter right now. Since the beginning, she shouldn't have hid the truth. But the thing about living with a weak heart made you feel scared even when there's nothing to feel scared about.

It's too late for regret now. The verdict has come.

Jeonghan suddenly stilled and stopped walking in fuming circles. His hands hung heavily on his sides, his breathing turning shallow, and his eyes cast down. He just stood there in a forbidding silence in the middle of the room that made her heart trembled.

Please . . . she could only beg mutely. She could see, even behind her tears that Jeonghan was thinking. And it bothered her because that was Jeonghan. He never used his heart. He never let his heart and his emotions rule him.

But right now, she wished he would listen to what it tells him and not think, just understand.

"So it's true then." He murmured almost to himself. Then he slowly looked at her through the strands of his messy hair. Even her heart stopped beating for a while with his empty and blank eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"You intended on hiding all of these from me, so spare me your sorry now. It's too late for that."

She tiredly sat on the bed. Her whole body felt like falling away together with her hope and heart. Maybe she deserve that — his icy wrath. He's right. She intended to hide everything from him.

Despite her reasons, he considers it selfish, because it's the truth. She just thought about herself. She didn't consider his feeling. She didn't think about him, as a man, a husband, and as a father.

"I know I did wrong, Jeonghan. It's wrong that I hid everything about our child. I don't want this to happen that we'll end up in this situation. I don't want to fight anymore." She said wearily, her tired eyes filled with tears. "I was afraid that if I'll tell you, you'll judge me. It's enough that I only torment myself, on all the things I did wrong. I don't think I can face you with your finger pointing at me, blaming me. Jeonghan, I didn't want to lose our child too. I didn't want all of these to happen to us, my memory loss, everything. No one wanted that to happen."

She only heard his humorless laugh that was full of sarcasm and rejection. "Our child?" He said dryly. "But you didn't even spare me single information about it? You had a chance to tell me, Jae Kyung. Even that time when you're at Paris. Yet you didn't!"