The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty

Nugget Dad Does Some Explaining

What the fuck Richard?

Also once school starts I probably won't do daily double updates, I'll probably just barely be able to do daily updates.

September Ages 11-12

"Middle school! It's going to be so cool!" Dan beamed. The fantastic foursome was currently at the junkyard.

"I hope we have classes together." Chris said.

"If we don't then I'll stop a bitch." Pj said and kissed the nape of Chris's neck. Dan and Phil looked at the two confused.

"Are you two dating?" Dan asked confused.

"Well-"

"What!? Ew! No!" Pj said quickly which caused everyone to raise an eyebrow.

"Ew? What's that suppose to mean?" Chris asked, very offended.

"Nothing it's just that I'm not gay or bi, or whatever the fuck people are calling themselves now." Pj said harshly.

"Not gay? Pj we literally ki-"

"Shut up! I-I'm not some fag." Pj said and ran out of the junkyard, leaving the three boys shocked.

"Fag?" Phil said offended.

"Okay I don't know what's up his ass but I know for a fact he's not homophobic." Chris said.

"Well that didn't seem very 'I support gays.'" Dan said.

"I'll talk to him." Chris said and chased after Pj.

•

It took about ten minutes for Chris to catch-up with Pj. Chris grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him around.

"What the fuck was that?" Chris asked confused. Pj shrugged.

"What do you mean." Pj replied.

"I mean the whole 'ew I'm not a fag' or 'I'm not gay.'"  Chris said bitterly.

"I'm not." Pj said simply and Chris rolled his eyes.

"Bullshit." Chris said.

"I'm not!" Pj said sternly. Chris raised a eyebrow. Chris could always tell when Pj was lying, and this was one of those times. Chris grabbed Pj by the neck and locked lips.

Pj froze, not really understanding what was happening. But when he did, it was almost like was compelled to grab Chris by the hips and kiss back. Chris smirked when he felt Pj do exactly that. Not gay my ass Chris thought.

Suddenly Pj pushed Chris away, so hard he landed on the train tracks.

"I-I.." Pj's voice trailed off nervously. Chris smirked at him.

"Y'know, next time you pretend to not like guys, you should hide it better.

•

Dan looked at himself proudly in the bathroom mirror. He was wearing a pink skirt and white top. He had on a carnation flower crown on. While he was looking through the boxes Dan also found makeup that Chosen clearly left there on purpose. Dan certainly wasn't complaining.

Dan was trying to figure how to do winged eyeliner. He had to use a butter knife to get the right angle but it came out great.

Dan was sitting on the bathroom counter trying to decided if he should use liquid lipstick or lipgloss. He decided since it was his first time, he would use lip gloss. He applied the pink shiny substance on his lips and smiled as he saw himself.

He liked the way he looked with makeup. It made him feel confident. It made him feel..pretty. He hated being called handsome, it just didn't suit him. He wish Phil would call him pretty again. Wait what?

Dan took a picture of himself on his phone, obviously never going to send it or show it to anyone. Recently he started a photo album of him wearing his pastel clothes. He enjoyed it.

"Dannnn hurry the fuck up!" Phil complained as he knocked on the door.

"I'm about to get in the shower you spoon!" Dan said nervously.

"Just about to? You said that twenty five minutes ago! Are you jerking off or some shit." Phil said annoyed.

"Jerking off?" Dan asked confused.

"Yeah? Oh! You're innocent I forgot! That's my bad." Phil giggled.

"No I'm not! What does it mean?" Dan begged but didn't get a response. Dan groaned and started to get in the shower.

•

"Lizzie?" Tiffany asked as she bit her chicken.

"Veto." Nugget said.

"Hey dad?" Dan asked Nugget. Nugget smiled a bit at Dan calling him dad. I swear if someone is gonna be perverted-

"Yeah Dan?" Nugget replied.

"What does jerking off mean?" Dan asked innocently and everyone chocked on their chicken.

"I-Uh..what?" Nugget asked nervously.

"Jerking off. What's it mean?" Dan asked confused.

"Oh! Jerry! We should name him Jerry!" Tiffany said.

"Seriously? You thought of a name in this moment? And Veto. Okay Dan um..We'll talk about this after dinner.."

•

"So..uh..Jerking off..Well.." Nugget was in Phan's room, trying to explain masturbating to both boys. Phil already knew what it was from Chosen, but it was funny to watch.

"Okay..So..Do you ever like..Get..aroused? Like your pants feel a bit smaller?" Nugget asked awkwardly.

"After they've been in the wash?" Dan asked confused.

"N-No..Okay I'm just gonna get it over with. Jerking off is when you touch your private area to make you feel good." Nugget said uncomfortably.

"How?" Dan asked innocently.

"You stroke it. Like..Like you're shaking your fist in anger. Okay goodnight boys!" Nugget said and ran out the room.

•

"Ah so you want to know how to tickle your pickle." Chosen said as he bit a cupcake.

"No I want to know what Jerking off means." Dan said.

"Same thing. Let's go over the basics. Names. Jerking off can be called many things. Masturbation, Tossing off, Tickle your pickle, Choking the chicken, or whatever the fuck." Chosen said.

"The last one sounds violent." Dan said,

"Yeah Yeah. Anygay basically you grab your dick and stroke it up and down because it feels good." Chosen said and started sipping tea.

"What does it feel like?" Dan asked curiously.

"I don't fucking know! And I ain't showing you, ask Phil for help." Chosen said and Dan rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Dan said and Chosen smirked.

"So did Melia like them?" Chosen asked.

"Did who like what?" Dan replied confused.

"Melia, your cousin, did she like the clothes." Chosen asked with a knowing smirk.

"O-Oh! Ye-Yeah! She really likes them." Dan said nervously. Chosen chuckled, knowing there was no Melia.