M.Y.GxBTS Not Enough (EDITING)

15

Yoongi's POV

I feel like I'm gonna puke.

"I need out." I mumble in pain as I lift my head up, eyes closed as tight as I can

"Huh? What did you say?" Kookie asks from beside me

"Pull the car over! Now!" I scream as everyone jolts in surprise.

Jin quickly pulls over on the side of the road as Kookie opens the door jumping out as I'm hit on his heels, the bike rising up my throat so fast I almost puke on myself.

The grass is now stained with liquidy(?) chunks of the lunch I ate and the two bits of the breakfast.

"Woah?!" Kook says in horror as everyone else jumps out the car, coming towards me to try and soothe my pain.

A range of "Hey are you okay?"'s and "do you want some water" spill out of the boys mouth at the same time as I stand up, trying to get as far away I can from the vomit.

Someone passes me a water bottle as I kindly accept it and drink the water slowly, also wiping my mouth with the cloth they handed me as well.

At least this time it wasn't intentional

"Maybe we shouldn't go to get the costume measurements after all, hyung needs to rest" Hobi says worrily

Let's go home

"We can't today is the only day we can get it done, they are all booked out until the comeback next month" Jin says informatively

I just wanna go home

I feel like I'm about to faint or just fall asleep, I can't tell anymore.

"Yoongi? Are you okay with going to get our measurements?" Namjoon eyes me worried

No, but it's not like I can say no

"I'm fine I wanna go back to sleep" I say in a small voice as we all gather into the car again

'How many times have I slept today?' I ask myself as I start to drift off again

I feel someone grab my shoulders  while another grabs my legs and puts them on their laps.

At least it's more comfortable

I turn around so I'm snuggled into the persons belly and curl up. I breath a sigh of relief and fall back into slumber not long after.

••••

I wake up, uncurling from my sleeping position and sit in the car. There's only one problem though

No one is in the car.

I open the car door and step outside to find me in front of my apartment door.

I open it to find a spot light on the mirror.

I walk towards the mirror, seeing myself. My fat lugs at my sides, my legs, my arms, everywhere. It weighs me down so much.

I turn around not wanting to see myself. Another mirror is in front of me, showing all my flaws and imperfections. I turn around again to try and run away and find myself trapped in a maze full of mirrors.

I scream and cry, not wanting to see myself. Running around and through the maze of mirrors I find a single large one.

Walking up to the last mirror my fat drops down to the floor, dragging behind and on me as I trudge to the mirror.

I look away from the mirror and at myself. The fat covers my toes I can't see them. My nose sticks out and I'm falling down. My arms and legs rest on the ground as I look at the mirror once again. I've turned into a pig. No I haven't turned into one, I am one.

I jolt up tears smeared all over my cheeks as I rest on my elbows.

Where am I?

Oh in bed

I shouldn't be here

I should've gotten my measurements

I harshly wipe my tear-smeared face until it's dry and get out of bed, walking towards the bathroom.

Another nightmare

No it's just a reminder of what I really am. I lock the door and turn on the bath, putting the plug in after it gets hot.

Undressing in front of the mirror I poke and prod at my stomach, wrapping my hands around my arm, seeing how far I get until my fingers don't touch and so on.

Once I think the bath is full enough I grab a razor from the secret stash in the cupboard.

I enter the bath, razor in my hand, it's clenched so hard around it I feel my hand starting to bleed. That probably won't scar, it's not deep enough.

More tears escape my eyes as I'm left once again alone to just me and my thoughts.

The blade dances across the skin of my forearms, creating a destructively beautiful lines of red. I go deeper as I go up. Can't forget the fans can we? I'm sure they won't mind if I fix myself a little, a few more artworks wouldn't hurt.

The comfort being brought by each cut makes me go deeper, more frequent new cuts. I'm a burden, they wouldn't mind right?

Maybe if I disappear they'll be happier, should I go deep enough?

The blood runs down my arms and into the just-over-lukewarm water, the water is now tinged a light red.

Knock knock

"Yoongs are you in there?" Jin hyung says

"Yes Seokjin hyung I'm just about to hope out!" I say frantically as I rush to stand, trying to find a cloth to cover my arms. It seems I've stood up too quickly as my head spins and I almost come crashing down onto the counter

"Yoongi hyung? Are you okay in there?" A new voice rings through the door

I can't divider the voice over the ringing in my head. It takes a minute for me to reply

"Yeah I'm fine, just got out the bath too quickly"

"That is not a good thing Yoongi! Are you okay? I'm coming in!"

No don't come in

They will see

They will see everything

They will see me

Dhfbndjd what's gonna happen? Sorry for cliff hanger though gotta have a bath and go to sleep, been running off all nighters

Love you guys byeeeee :)