M.Y.GxBTS Not Enough (EDITING)

34

Yoongi's POV

I wake up from the first dreamless sleep I have had in a long time. I try to move but find myself wrapped in two pairs of arms. Taehyung and Jungkooks. I look at the window from the living room couch, it is night time.

Grumbles come from the boys as I try to move out of their grasp. I finally pry myself away from their clutch and rest them on each other. They start pulling each other closer and hug each other in their sleep. I stop watching as I exit the living room and towards the bathroom.

I'm so fucking stupid, Seokjin hyung is going to talk to me about it and the others are going to worry about me. I exhale deeply as I look at myself in the mirror. I need to check my weight. I quickly step on the scale, tears brimming my eyes as I look at the number. You fucking piece of shit this is what happens when you don't work out and be lazy, you have been eating like a pig too. Do fucking want to be fat huh? You are 51 kilograms! For gods sake. (112 lbs) tears escape my eyes before I even realise it. I start silently sobbing to myself as I failed. I fucking failed. I need to lose weight not gain it. How the hell do I gain 5 kilograms in a week and a half?

I scramble to open the secret compartment in the cupboard. I need to punish myself. I grab the familiar weapon, not hesitating to glide the sharp object down my wrists. My breathing comes down, the tears starting to stop flowing as I become infatuated with the red liquid running down my arms and thighs. Who am I kidding, this isn't punishment, it's relief.

The comeback is too far away, 2 weeks sound like a lifetime right now. Technically it is, it's the rest of my life in the span of two weeks. I need to clean up, I don't want it to spill on the ground. I grab a few tissues from the box as I wipe down my thighs and wrists. It stings when the thin paper touches the wounds, but it's oddly refreshing. After I clean myself I exit the room, pulling my sleeves down and shorts further. I run up to Jin's room and quietly enter, grabbing a few clothes from my dresser and back downstairs to a bathroom with a towel.

•••

I get out the shower, trying not to touch the aching wounds too much as I put on clothes, more specifically easily moving and comfortable clothes. I slip on the extra large hoodie and big sweatpants, putting shoes and socks on before grabbing my phone hat and mask. Even though the sun is only just starting to rise, I don't want to speak to anyone today. I slip back out the door and walk down stairs.

I should write a note so they don't have to worry about me. They shouldn't worry about me. I grab a pen and a piece of paper, writing a note and placing it on the bench before I head out the door quietly.

I've gone to the dance studio to practise dancing, be back soon.

-Yoongi

I don't know how long I'll be, but it will most likely be when the sun is high in the sky.

•••

The song rings through my ears as I go along with it using my body. By now, I've gone onto using random songs instead of practising our own songs.
multiple different songs ring throughout the room as I copy some of the moves to them.

"Ring, ring."

My heavy breath fills the dance studio, almost fogging up the mirror with the humid and hot air. I glance at the phone before sighing and walking over to it. 

"Hello?"

"Yoongi! I've called you twice now! You have been out for ages and still haven't come back. We need to talk, I'll come pick you up if you want but you need to come home." A faint, incoherent voice speaks in the background. I sigh, "Fine, I will walk home, see you in a bit. Just let me pack up."

"Okay bye."

I hang up and puff. I was right, the sun is definitely high in the sky. The time on the phone says 11:30am so I've been dancing for around 5 and a half hours.

I have to talk to Jin.