EDITING (You can still read)
Yoongi-Bottom
Jin-Bottom
BTS-Top
Yoongi, a depressed, anorexic 24-year old.
After reading online hater comments on a photo of him and the boys, Yoongi becomes depressed and anorexic. He doesn't want to tell BTS, he doesn...
With our comeback only eight days away, we have been practising like crazy. My body has been beginning to shut down, my movements have become stiff and I'm constantly tired. We have finished recording our new song as well as our dance for it. I haven't gotten a break yet, it has constantly been practise, maybe eat, and sleep. The little time I have for food has made it easier for no one to notice me not eating, as well as keep my mind off of it. I have lost a few more kilos which I'm happy about, I'm almost back to my old weight.
Although, I'll never be skinny.
I step on the scale for the third time this morning before getting changed into day clothes.
The number still displays 49.2 kg (108.4lbs)
Too fat. Lose more. Too heavy.
I almost jump off the scale, tears threatening to spill for the fifth time this morning already. I grab my phone, going onto social media for the first time in months. I don't know why, maybe I need more inspiration to make me skinny. I look at old photos of me and the group. Scrolling down to the comments, I see all the comments about me. Army is so nice, they are really kind to me.
Minnie_Boy Suga oml I love youuu!!!
GayForYoongi So pretty Yoongi my baby!💜💜
Only_Tae Yoongi has baby fat ;-;
NamJinBoiii Look at that shortie he so fat, grow tall so you won't be fat!!
Bts_office Everyone so handsome!!
방탕_사랑해 (bangtan_iloveyou) 슈가뚱뚱하다 (fat suga)
Lil_meow_meow My lil yoongles you are so pretty I'm dying ethereal beautyyyyyyy
I see the nice comments but I can't seem to detach my eyes from the insults. They are true though.
Why am I even an idol? I shouldn't be putting fat into people's heads. I'm ashamed of myself, I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve this, I'm no good to anyone.
I go back to Seokjin hyung's and my room, jumping on the bed. I really want to go back to sleep.
I grab the phone and turn it to camera. I wipe the tears from my eyes that I don't know spilt before I take a picture. I need to punish myself. I upload the picture on Twitter.
@방탄소년단 BTS_twt • 9/11/18 여드름 얼굴 ㅜㅜ Translation : ache face ㅜㅜ
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Translation : ache face ㅜㅜ
I post the picture and turn my phone off. I'll wait until I get home. I hear a knock on the door, "Yoongi? Are you in there?"
"Yea I am, who is it?"
"It's Jungkook, can I come in?"
I get up off the bed and unlock the door, opening it and looking up to Jungkook.
"Come in."
He comes in as I close the door. He sits down on my bed a bit stiffly, I walk back to the bed and sit next to him.
"What's up?" I ask him curiously.
"Um, nothing I just wanted to come here. Why aren't you ready yet?"
"I was just going to, you can stay, I'll change in the bathroom."
"Why don't you get changed in front of people?"
The question threw me off guard a bit. I take a little longer to reply, "I just don't like getting changed in front of people, I'm self conscious." I admit to him.
"Oh, okay then."
I grab clothes from my drawer, making sure the shirt is long sleeved before I go to the bathroom. I had a shower last night accompanied by the razors so the cuts are still fresh when I slip on the shirt and pants. I don't dare look at the mirror again as I don't want to cry this morning, again.
"Okay I'm done." I say exiting the bathroom after I brush my teeth.
"You still need to do your hair." He chuckles at me before going to the bathroom I just left. He comes back out with a comb, waving it in the air.
"Can I brush your hair?"
"Sure." I hesitantly say.
He motions me to sit in front of the bed. He puts a pillow down, "you are too short, I have to put a pillow down so I can reach you. At least now you are comfortable." He chuckles again as I blush. I sit down as he puts his legs either side of me.
He starts combing through my brunette hair, his fingers brushing through it afterwards. "Your hair is so soft!" He coos.
"Imagine what you'd look like with a man bun, your hair is getting pretty long," he stairs bunching my hair into a ponytail, some hair falling out. I don't answer as he keeps playing with it for a few minutes.
He stops as we hear a knock as the door. "Yoongi?" I quickly get up from the ground. I don't know why but I feel embarrassed as I answer the door. "Yes?"
"It's time to go, have you seen Kook by any chance?" Namjoon says.
"I'm here." He puts his hand up, answering the question for me.
Jungkook looks disappointed for some reason, although when I turn back around to face Joon, he looks mad.
"Are you okay?" I ask him.
"Yep, let's go." He grabs my wrist as he drags me out of my room.
"I need my bag and stu-" "I got it, it's fine." Jungkook says as he grabs my bag and phone.
I don't get to grab it until we are all out the car and at BigHit. Kook had put it in the car for me.
"Thanks Kookie." I say gratefully as he passes me my bag and phone.
"All good!" He smiles his bunny smile. I smile back half heartedly as we start to walk to the dance studio. Hoseok jumps up next to me and Jimin goes next to him.
"Yoongi! I haven't seen you all morning!" Yeah because I've been shaming and crying to myself in the bathroom.
"Yeah, I was getting ready. Jungkook helped me." I gesture to Jungkook at my other side, he smiles smugly.
The other two send a dark look to him as Jimin speaks, "I could have helped you." He pouts cutely at me.
"He only brushed my hair for me. I don't know why you would want to help me." Jimin and Hoseok simultaneously gasp. I jump in shock, "why'd you gasp?"
"He got to touch your hair!" They day at the same time. It's kind of creepy.
"Well, yeah. He had to touch it if he wa-"
"Let me do your hair!" They day at the same time again, then sending each other a glare.
