The ThickGirl and The Badboy

Chapter 43: Fear.

Koleen's POV:

I couldn't believe it.
Anderson, Bryson Anderson likes me, me!
Why does he like me?
How does he like me?

Is this a trick?
It's too much for me to process.

It's been a week since it happened,  a week that I've been avoiding him because I didn't know how I felt.

Well I did, but I didn't want to.

Every time he'd shoot me a text or I'd see him at school I'd avoid, I'd apologize that I'm busy.

Today though, I got another text from him.
He wanted to see me.

My heart started racing.
I didn't want to see him.

But he'd already seen that I was home from the Snapchat location.

I texted him that I'm busy, but he only responded with saying that he'll help me.

I didn't want him to come.
I didn't want to see him.
But it was too late because while I was having a panic attack, my doorbell rang.

My parents weren't home so I had to go down and get it.

My heart hammered against my chest as I slowly walked towards the door, my hands feeling clammy.
I opened it to see him standing there with a big smile and food. My favorites.

It warmed my heart, it did.

"Hey." He says. I motioned for him to come in, and he did. "I haven't seen you all week, are you okay?"

"Yeah." I say in a small voice.

We walk towards my room quietly, then I sit down. Not saying anything. So many things were spinning around in my head I didn't know what to say first.

"What's wrong?" He says looking at me, walking towards me.

My eyes widened, I didn't want him to come near me.
He sat next to me, wanting to hold my hands, but I pulled them away towards my hair.

"Koleen what's wrong?" He's confused, and so am I.

"I..I don't know. I don't know if I can do this, accept being in a feelings relationship."

"What do you mean, don't you like me too?" He asks.

"I..."
I did. I really did. But I was scared. Terrified even. I was scared to pour my heart to someone. I was scared of getting hurt. Heartbroken.

This was all new to me.

"Do you?" He asks again.

"I do, but I don't know. I'm scared." I mumble not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Scared of what?"

"Getting hurt. I'm scared of getting hurt. That's why I've been avoiding you. I, Ive never been in a relationship or had anyone like me like you do and it just terrifies me, because what if I fall too deeply and you're not there to pick me back up? What if you leave me?" My eyes get watery, but I hold the tears back because I did not want to cry.

"What are you talking about, I've never felt this way before, I've never met anyone like you Koleen. You fill my life with excitement and joy. How could you say that?"

Tears fell down. This time I couldn't hold them back. He grabbed me and rested my head against his chest as I sobbed.
"Thunderthighs, I promise my intentions aren't to hurt you."

I cried even harder into him.
It's not that easy to let yourself go, to let the unpredictable take you away. It's scary.
It is.

And although I was still terrified, I wanted to give us a chance.

I liked him. And I wanted to be with him.
He always made my days so much better.
I liked his company.
He made me laugh.
I liked talking to him.
I trusted him.

So why shouldn't I trust ourselves?
Why shouldn't I trust that it will work?

We will have struggles along the way like any normal relationship, but the important thing is that we keep coming back for each other.

When two people like each other, it turns into a relationship.
You love one another deeply.
Your emotions are not in your control anymore.

In movies, something would always happen, the guy would give the girl a nickname.

We fought, he had a nickname for me, a terrible one, but I grew to love it.

So why shouldn't we date?
We both liked each other.
It's that simple. I should let go of my fears and worries and just focus in the present, instead of the future.

❥ ❥❥ ❥❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

A/N:
      Hey guys. I'm sorry that this chapter is super short. And I'm sorry if Koleen was annoying in this chapter. I just wanted to express what I'm going through through her, because I can't say it myself.

Hope you don't mind xoxo LaughinfUnicorn:(<3