The ThickGirl and The Badboy

Chapter 36: The Struggles

Bryson's POV:

All my mind could comprehend was that I had to make her understand.

I didn't want to loose another amazing person in my life.

Maybe I'm being a fucking cheesehead but she was important to me. She made me feel alive again and not so shitty.

Even though, at the moment, she made me feel really shitty.

But that's because I was or am, a shit head that possibly doesn't deserve her.
And I say possibly because I'm going to try to keep her, I'm going to make an effort to not let her walk away from me, but if even after I explain everything...and she still doesn't want me...
I'm gonna have to let her go.

Who knows, maybe I'll get over her and find someone else, but for the moment, I wanted her.

So I led her to the only place that'd let me be me, that tricked me into thinking I was talking to my mom sometimes instead of nobody but nature and the view.

I took her to the hill because I knew it'd be the only place where I could explain clearly instead of all over the place.

I sat not too far off the edge,thinking if she'd reject me, I'll make a jump so she won't see the hurt in my eyes.

She distanced herself from me though, and I'm not gonna lie, I wish she didn't, but I understood that she didn't feel comfortable around me right now and maybe forever.

Part of me regretted what I said. If I hadn't opened my mouth, we would've been having a good time, and I would've told her the reason I called for her, which was my father's business, but she had to know someday.
Maybe today was supposed to be the day.
Maybe fate didn't want us to be paired.

Which is fine I guess...
I'm still young.
I'm fine with another heartache if it comes to that.

"Explain." She murmured, looking off into the dark lit up view.

I sighed deeply, where did I start?
"Well as you know, my mom left. I don't know why, I don't know how, but she just disappeared. And I'm not trying to use her as an excuse, I'm just telling you so you'll know the reason why I left my house in the first place, and how upsetting it was to me. She was everything, she was always there for me, always making me laugh, uplifting me when I needed it. Then suddenly after soccer practice she wasn't there anymore. My dad said that she just left..." I licked the inside of my mouth while trying to not let my voice crack.

She looked at me concerned with her hazel eyes, but her body was stiff and far.
I wish she'd hold my hand.

"All her stuff was gone. Not a single note. It was pretty stupid of me but my anger got the best of me, I decided a life without my mom was no life at all so I packed my stuff and ran away. Of course my dad would try to find me but I kept myself hidden pretty well. But there's only so much time for you to survive on your own, so when I heard there was a job opening I took it desperately."

As the story grew near to my mistakes, I started getting nervous and playing with my hands to calm myself down.

"But it turned out they only accepted girls, so he declined me, but I knew in my heart that if I went back to the streets I'd eventually had to go back home. A home with reminders,and it pained me to even think about it so I told him I'd do anything."