The Last Goodbye

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Melissa

As I sit in my brothers room watching him slowly breathe I had this pain in my chest. A pain that comes with knowing that each breath he takes could be his last one ever and that killed me inside. Him and I have been fighting for nearly five years, trying to get him better. And I couldn't do it, I was still going to lose the first father figure Mallory ever knew and the best friend I've ever known. He was not so slowly slipping through my fingers and even though I knew this day was coming, I hated that it was here.

I sit and think back to the times we used to butt heads, we were always the closest growing up even though he's a good ten years older than me. But he was also the guy bailing me out of trouble, he used to come to Alabama save my ass and give me money when I spent all of mine on beer. He was the best thing I had before Mallory and Anthony came into my life. And now I have to watch as he slowly passes away in our home. He wouldn't let them take him anywhere else.

"Timothy" I whisper.

"What" he mumbles.

"Do you remember that time I tried to jump onto the field at the Bama-Ole Miss game my sophomore year and you pulled me back before I could get down there" I ask and a small smile pulls across his face.

"You were so drunk" he laughs dryly.

"You should have let me do it. Then you wouldn't have spent the rest of your life looking over me" I tease.

"The greatest joys of my life have been watching over you the past five years" he says softly and I smile. I wipe a tear away as I let out a sigh.

"If I open my eyes and you're crying I'm gonna make you leave" he threatens and I laugh.

"I'm not going anywhere" I insist.

"Good" he says.

Eventually my family returns from the dinner they went to and Mallory climbs into my lap. It was about 10 and it was getting late, the doctors didn't think he would make it through the day but he was still here. Eventually Anthony joins us and I know he was in a awful mood. The Cubs lost the NLCS tonight and he was done with baseball for a while now. The series was bad and Anthony couldn't focus with everything happening here. It was hard for him because his thing was helping people beat cancer and he just couldn't beat this one. No one could.

He comes in at about 10:50 and Tim was still hanging on. Anthony sits on the side of his bed and I see Tim smile.

"Is that you Anthony" he asks and Anthony laughs.

"How did you you know it was me" he questions.

"Because only someone as big as you would make the bed dip this much" he jokes and we all laugh.

"And to think I was worried I wouldn't be able to tell you goodbye" Anthony shakes his head.

"I couldn't go without seeing you again" Timothy claims.

"Your eyes are closed" Anthony tells him. Tim opens his eyes and he looks around. I see tears in his eyes and I knew that's why he wouldn't open them all day. He didn't like crying in front of people but he knew that his was it.

"How long has everyone been in here" he asks.

"About a hour" my mom says.

"Can I go see uncle tim now" Mallory asks me and I nod. She hops out of my lap and over to the bed. She jumps up and crawls over to where her favorite uncle was laying. She lays there and he wraps his arm around her. He kisses her head before a tear falls.

"I love you so much Mal Pal" Tim whispers and I feel my heart break. This is something I could have happily gone my whole life without experiencing.

"I love you too big tim" she says and I smile.

"Can I get a good look at you" he asks and she looks up at him. When she does he smiles really big as another tear falls. "You're such a beautiful girl. So strong and so brave. I need you to use your powers to take care of your mother" he claims and I smile.

"How do I do that" she asks an he laughs.

"It's not easy but you'll figure it out. You're smart. You're going to grow to be the girl that every man dreams of. And Anthony won't let you be with any of them" he jokes and I laugh. Anthony nods from along side of him because he wasn't wrong. "I'm gonna miss you so much" he sniffles.

"Where are you going" she asks him.

"I'm going to the sky, but I'm still going to be watching over you" he promises.

"Why can't you stay" she asks.

"That's just the way it has to be. But you're one of my favorite reasons to be here" he tells her.

Finally it comes time and he starts to let go. We all say our goodbyes and leave him to pass in peace. I take one more look at him before the doctors come in to do what they need to. He smiles at me and I feel my heart break into a million pieces.

"I love you squirt" he says and I smile back.

"I love you most Big Tim" I reply.

I leave and close the door behind me. I close my eyes tight as my breathing picks up as it tried to keep up with how fast my brain was going. I fall to my knees as I become surrounded by darkness. The cries flood out of me as I let it all out after holding it in all day. I feel a pair of arms surround me and I know that it was Anthony. I can smell his cologne and his muscles tighten as he holds me close.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers in my ear. I can hear the hurt in his voice as he holds me tight.

"I don't want him to leave" I sob.

"I know baby. I'm gonna miss him too" he agrees.

Eventually I look up at him as he looked down at me. He wipes a tear from my face as he keeps me close.

"Your family went back to their hotel for the night and they'll be back here tomorrow to get ready for the funeral. Lets go to bed and make sure Mallory is okay" he suggests and I nod my head. I have no idea how he was being so strong but I'm sure my brother made sure he was there for us now that he's not.

We get into my room and I see Mallory laying there crying. I think it finally hit her that her uncle won't be around anymore.

I climb into bed and pull her into me. Anthony joins us as he holds me, we all quietly cry as the doctors take my brother from his death bed and out of our lives.

"I love you guys" I say.

"Love you too mommy" Mallory says.

"I love you most baby" Anthony replies.

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