Crazy In Love (Anthony Rizzo)

Back To the Old Grind

Anthony

A little over two weeks after the car accident I get released to play again. I start with hitting off the t for a while and work on grounding balls and I felt fine. Pretty good actually. My shoulder that was hurt was on my right arm so it was my non-dominant one. That made it easier for me to get back into the swing of things, both literally and metaphorically. Finally after passing all the tests the doctors released me and I was able to get back to my team.

And the first thing I see is a bunch of reporters by my stall and I let out a deep sigh. I knew I couldn't avoid them forever but I also didn't want to deal with them either. But I face my fears and go to my locker before sitting down in my seat.

"I guess you guys have some questions huh" I ask as I chuckle to myself. They all start to talk at once and I easily get overwhelmed. I didn't know where to start or what to say. This was already going to be hard enough, now it just seems impossible.

"Alright everyone. Calm down. Go one at a time" David yells over my shoulder and I sigh. Thank god he was here.

"Is your wife's daughter okay" one guy asks.

"She's my daughter too" I correct. "And she's doing good. She's nursing a leg and head injury but she's going to be fine" I explain.

"Are you going to sue the guy who ran into you" another asks.

"I'm not. I don't want to have to relive that day again so I'm not pressing any charges. I'm lucky enough to walk away with minor injuries and the knowledge that Mallory is going to be okay. There's no need for me to move backwards when I have so much to look forward to" I say.

"How have you been able to go through this with your wife being eight months pregnant and both you and your daughter hurt" one questions.

"Because my family, we're stronger than cancer and a car crash and the anger people might have. I know that, they know that. We don't let these things break us down, rather we let it build us up. This was hard for us, I'm not going to lie. I couldn't look myself in the mirror knowing that I was the cause of my daughters pain. I couldn't look at my wife knowing that if she would have been with us I would have lost her and our little boy too. I didn't get how she could still love me after I endangered my daughter, I couldn't forgive myself so how could she? It was so incredibly hard to move on from such a incredibly shitty situation. For a while I didn't want to move on, I wanted to hurt.

But then I realized that the same reasons I was so upset was the same reasons I should be happy. I should be happy that my daughter still sees me as her hero and still wants to watch me play baseball. I should be happy my wife is here and we are about to have a kid. She was always by my side reminding me that she loved me all the same no matter what happened in that crash and that gave me strength. I wasn't allowing myself to be happy but I am now. I'm lucky that we were able to make it out of that alive and I've learned just how precious life can be. Now I'm ready to move on and get back to some familiarity in my life" I insist.

"Do you think the crash changed you as a player" someone wonders.

"I most certainly do. There's no way something like that happens and you can still look at your life the same way. But I still want to be a great ball player, we still have goals set for us this season that I intend on us achieving them. We're going to try to win the World Series and when we do... it's just going to mean that much more to me because I'm still here so I can enjoy it."

After the reporters get shooed away David sits down next to me. He pats my leg as I shake my head in distress.

"That was impressive" he claims.

"That they actually left when you said to" I ask.

"That you didn't start crying" he claims and I laugh.

"I have to be strong. My family needs me" I insist.

"And you're not with your family right now" he claims.

"Yeah I am" I smile as he smiles back to me.

"You know what I mean" he insists.

"I do. And thanks for having my back. That would have been a lot worse if you weren't here" I admit.

"We just got you back, don't want the media to scare you away before you even see a pitch again" he teases.

"Well I'm here and I'm tired of talking. I just want to play" I beg.

"Then get dressed. Your team awaits you."

I get changed and pull on my cubs cap before heading out to the field. I smile to myself when I look around and see so many smiling faces. It's felt like forever since I've been here, I missed Wrigley and the fans and even the rowdy bleacher crowd.

I head out to first and I hear a round of applause. I look to the Jumbotron and see "Welcome Back Anthony Rizzo" on the board and I smile big. I tip my cap to the crowd and I look around again. Most of the people were on their feet and I felt emotional. I know a lot of fans have been rooting for me and my family. I've seen the twitter mentions and comments on Facebook. People have been sending things for Mallory in the mail to the Cubs and they give it to her. I really appreciate the fact that they care so much and that they were thinking about us. It means the world to me.

Once that was done I try to compose myself but it was hard. I feel the tears build up as I let this moment all sink in. I was blessed, I had a good team and good friends and good family. I know that no matter how hard life gets it will always be worth it to the end. I will always have places like this that will miss me and people like Melissa who will love me no matter what. And for that I am thankful.