impossible | barry allen

66

Harry stared in shock, this being not what he expected to happen, "I'm so sorry."

"We lost him." Henry says.

"No-no-no- He could've gotten knocked somewhere or maybe even run somewhere." Cisco denied, not wanting to believe that we had just lost Barry, running and checking GPS signals from the screen in front of him, "Nothing on the GPS."

Within a few minutes, Harry, Iris, and Joe were running to find what had happened with Jesse and Wally, Henry soon going to give Jesse his best medical attention.

I slowly stood up, as Cisco looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "I- I have to go." I stutter, a small cough leaving my mouth as I turn to walk away.

"Zee-" Cisco starts to say, as I cut him off, looking at him. "I- I'll be back later- I just- can't be here right now." I told him, before leaving star labs and getting to my apartment as quickly as I could.

I step into my apartment, kicking off my shoes, sitting onto my couch.

My eyes drift to the arm of the couch, where they landed on one of Barry's sweatshirts, tears filling my eyes by just the sight of it. My hands shakily grabbed onto it, as I held it to my chest tightly, squeezing my eyes shut, letting out a choked sob.

Barry Allen was actually gone. And he left at the worst time. He left trying to become whole again. He left while me being upset. He left with me being in the worst mood, being rude to both him and everyone else. He never knew why I was upset. He never found out.

I never told him I love him. I never listened to him as much as I should've. I argued too much with him. I let my emotions out so much that he was always preoccupied with me.

There was so many things I regretted. And now, he wasn't here for me to fix any of it.

Whatever had upset me before, still had me upset, but the fact that I was still upset about it or could ever be upset about something like this especially when Barry politely turned her down and told Iris he was happy with me, made me even more upset with myself.

He told her he was in love with me.

My thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock at my door. I slowly got up, walking to the door, opening it to be greeted by Iris West.

"Hey-" I say weakly and quietly, my voice raspy from crying so much.

She gives me a pained smile, her voice also quietly and broken, "Hey. I thought you might need a friend."

I blink long and hard, before opening the door wider, "Come in."

She walks in slowly, as I close the front door, looking at her, as she speaks again, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay." I simply say, my entire mood going blank, as I dropped Barry's sweatshirt back onto the couch, wiping my tears with my sleeve, sitting on the arm of the couch, clapping my hands together as I let out a sigh.

"I've been thinking a lot recently- with everything that's been going on- and everything I've seen-" She started, "And I ended up telling Barry that I had feelings for him. Now, I would never try to come between you two-"

"I know." I quietly say.

"I don't know what I was thinking- and I could tell it really bothered you when I said what I said before everything went down and- I'm sorry. I am. I just felt the need to tell him before something like this happened. And it did happen. I'm not even sure if I mean it, it's probably just a phase." She says, "I'm sorry."

"A phase where you have feelings for my boyfriend?" I ask her, "Is that why you couldn't go on that date that one day? Not because of Eddie- but because of Barry?"