You're Shit At Lying

Chapter three - Are You Okay?

"Alright pricks," jj exclaimed, startling the whole room. "I'm hungry as fuck. Can we order something?" Jj looked around the room, most of the boys nodding in agreement. All except Harry, who, once again, seemed to be lost in his thoughts. Though, the boys didn't seem to take much notice, whilst they were making their minds up on what they wanted to eat.

HARRY'S POV:
"Alright pricks," i jumped in my seat, lifting my eyes up to look at jj, whilst keeping my head held down. "I'm hungry as fuck. Can we order something?" I tensed up my body as I heard this. No one seemed to notice me as they all nodded, and started discussing what food they were gonna order. I don't really care though, no one ever notices me, I prefer it that way a lot of the time to be honest. "It's a fucking tie!" I jumped in my seat a little again, but this time I kept looking down. "Hang on, Harry hasn't voted!" Simon yelled out. I tensed up again, I felt everyone's eyes on me, staring at me. Their glances piercing holes through my head. I felt so uncomfortable and I just wanted to be swallowed into the floor. I didn't move though, I felt trapped. "Come on then Harry, your the deciding vote," Vikk began "Which one, pizza or Chinese?" I looked up to Vikk, then to Ethan and then finally to Josh, who gave me a questioning look. "I-I uh need to go to the uh toilet" I let out. I didn't really need the toilet, I just felt sick and needed to get out of there. I rushed out of the room, trying to act normal untill I was out of the boys sight. I ran up the stairs and into the closest bathroom. I locked the door behind me and lunged my self over the toilet, as I instantly threw up. Not much came out though, as I hadn't eaten much in the past few days. I started to silently cry, as the familiar feeling of burning ran through my throat. I hated this. My anxiety would get so bad sometimes and it would always result in a panic attack, or spewing my guts out. To be perfectly honest, I'm lucky that this happened, and not a panic attack. The boys don't have to know that way. Also, I didn't really mind being sick that much, I was very much used to it by now. I could just get it over and done with, whilst a panic attack lasted a lot longer.

As my thoughts ran wild, I was sat up against the wall, tears quietly spilling out of my eyes. I hate this. I really do. I just want to be normal and like everyone else, is that really so hard?
'Calm down Harry... breathe' I told myself. I'd have to go and face the boys soon, and I can't do that with puffy cheeks and red eyes. I quickly stood up and went over to the sink I splashed my face with water and looked into the mirror infront of me. I heavily sighed at what I saw looking back at me. 
Your disgusting
"Fuck off" I muttered as i splashed more water on my face, and then dried it off. I took one last look in the mirror before I headed to the door. I took a long deep breath in and walked out of the bathroom. I saw Josh walking up the stairs and we exchanged nods whilst waking past each other . "Harry?" I turned around slowly putting a fake smile upon my face. "What's up?" I asked, trying my hardest to act normal. Why can't I be normal. "You okay?" He asked me giving a sympathetic smile. For fuck sake. I hated this question, no matter how many times you answer it, it never gets easier to lie. Especially to someone like Josh. He's clever I guess, he can see through pretty much anyone who lies to him, including me. I'm a shit liar. "Harry?" I look up to him completely forgetting we are in conversation, after getting lost in thought. "Yeah?" I asked, not remembering what we were talking about.
"Are you okay?" He had a very  serious yet concerned look on his face. I mentally smacked myself, realising he has already asked me this. "Yeah, absolutely fine, why wouldn't I be?" I gave my best fake smile, waiting for him to answer me. But he just nodded his head. "The boys are ordering pizza downstairs, what do you want?" He asked casually, raising his eyebrows. "Nah, um nothing I'm good thanks. I uh think I'm just gonna go home" I stringed out, starting to slightly panic on the inside. Josh sighed, beginning to walk down the stairs. I began to follow him. "Stay there a sec" he said kindly, turning round to me. I stood there awkwardly at the top of the stairs, waiting for Josh. 'Why do I have to stay here? Why can't I go home? Have I done something wrong? Am I in some type of trouble? I don't want to stay here' I silently spoke to myself, very confused.
Get out if you don't want to stay
But i think josh wants to speak to me though
He's just gonna have a go at you Harry
What if its something important?
Do you really want to risk that?
Its gonna be nothing, just shut up please
Just leave if you want to

I took a few steps down the stairs, leaving.

Your pathetic